Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Thanksgiving this year was very army-ish.  It wasn't bad at all & honestly, I'm kind of glad it happened the way it did because it absolutely sums up our life right now. It is a really ususual, but fun memory. 

We are, as you know, living in a hotel in Germany while we wait for our new awesome apartment to get finished (only about a week left of waiting!).  In our room there is only a microwave & a mini fridge, but our friend's room has an actual stove.  I guess a dog trumps a baby in determining who gets the penthouse :)  We were originally going to spend Turkey Day in Prague, but at the last minute changed or minds & our friends invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner in their room.  We brought a pumpkin pie, vanilla ice cream, some wine, & bread (all bought of course!).  They provided turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, gravy, & bread as well.  It was sooooo yummy!  Baby Girl had sweet potatoes for the first time & loved them (later, she threw them up, but she loved them at first).  She wore her "First Thanksgiving" bib & was decked out in her cute fall clothes :)  It is such a fun memory!  After we fed Baby Girl we put her on the bed & let her play while we enjoyed our adult meal.  She was perfect!  Just played by herself while we ate.  We had such a good time. 

The next morning, we caught a train to Prague which was amazing as ever.  We just love that city!  It was different being there with a baby, but she was, once again, perfect!  We stayed right dowtown about a 5-minute walk from the Charles Bridge so when it was naptime we just went home & let her nap & then back out again.  We had delicious food, went to the Christmas market, had warm mulled wine, & roasted chestnuts while surrounded by Christmas lights & American Christmas carols!  It was amazing & I loved it.  It was COLD, but we all dressed appropriately & stayed comfortable.  We have this snowsuit for Baby Girl & it is hilarious.  We call her the "pink marshmellow" or the "toasted marshmellow" :)  It didn't matter how cold it got outside, when we took her out of that thing she was toasty warm! It's magical.  The only thing that got cold on her was her nose :) 

Note that this was the ONLY color they offered so although Pepto Bismal is not my favorite color, it was our only option.  I told Hubby I'm glad we have a girl because they seriously did not offer anything else at the PX.  But Baby Girl looks stinkin' adorable even in Pepto Bismal pink :)

Hat & coffee are a must!

A happy duo :)
Our favorite Eastern European candy!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sooo...last night

Last night Hubby & I fell asleep at 8pm & woke up at 4am wide awake! But guess who was still asleep?  Thank goodness that kid sleeps in.  I made some coffee (in the pitch dark of couse) & read while Hubby   watched Seinfeld..  Then we watched an alien movie that was on TV called "The Day the Earth Stood Still". 

It was unusual, but kind of fun! I felt like a teenager :)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Thursday, November 18, 2010

A Different Sort of Living

No, I'm not talking about the Germans, silly.  I'm talking about living out of a hotel room!  Different? Yes.  Awful?  Surprisingly, not really.

I don't know if it's God's Grace or my low maintenance, but it could be a lot worse. The biggest issue we have run across is Baby Girl sharing a room with us at bedtime.  She knows we are staying awake & she wants to hang out.  We didn't have any problems at my mom's or Hubby's mom's house.  I guess because I would take her into a dark room & sing a song to her & she would just be so sleepy.  Maybe back then she thought that I was going to go to sleep too, just in different room?  I don't know.  But, now, she looks over my shoulder at her daddy & smiles & waves (her lastest trick) & then when I lay her down, she cries.   She's very inconsistent with her crying.  She doesn't cry every night.  Night before last she went down without a peep.  But then last night she cried for like 10 minutes & that was after I had tried to comfort her about 3 times & she had stayed up 1-2 hours later than normal.  The good thing is that once she's down, she's down. She is back to sleeping between 10-12 hours a night.  Of course she still makes all kinds of baby noises that make me hold my breath because I think she's going to wake up.  Those of you who sleep with your baby or allow your baby to sleep in a basinette in your room or whatever, I seriously don't know how you do it!  Babies are loud sleepers!!

Another issue living in a hotel raises is it's amazing shrinking abilities.  Did you know that hotel rooms shrink?  I did not know that.  It's a phenomenon that only occurs if you live in one longer than a week.  It was plenty big a week & a half ago when we got here...but now?  Definitely shrinking.   There is one chair.  One wardrobe.  2 dressers thank goodness.  2 sinks (one for the bathroom & one for washing dishes).  It does, however, have the one main thing I cannot live without: a coffeepot.  Yes, yes, yes where there is coffee, I will be ok.  I even bought some "Seattle's Best" with a ration card!  Coffee is rationed along with gas, cigarettes, & hard liquor.  

The only other thing I miss is a bathtub.  Generally speaking, I do not take a lot of baths.  In fact, the only time I really take baths is when I'm freezing.  Which I was last night.  Baby Girl & Hubby were grizzly bear warm, but I could NOT get comfortable.  So, instead of taking a nice hot bath & drinking hot cocoa, I crawled under the covers & went to sleep.  Voila! An hour later, I was warm :)

To counteract the missing bathtub is our very friendly German housekeeper who is now my friend.  She loves Baby Girl so I love her.  That's how it works right?  You work your way into a woman's heart through her baby?  :)

And, of course, I have books.  Lots & lots of books.  That last sentence just makes me feel warm & fuzzy.

There is one sort of problem living in a hotel with your army husband & your infant.  It's called PT (physical training).  And it starts next week probably at 5:30 or 6.  OH NO.  Currently, Hubby leaves at 7:45 so it's no biggie if he wakes us up...which, coincidentally, he does every morning. I'm not sure if he is loud (but I think he is) or if the room is just too small to not hear him (maybe), but if Baby Girl starts waking up at 5:30 I am going to be one miserable momma.

We'll see.  But for now, I have coffee & I have Internet & I'm pretty happy!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Move Across The Pond

I thought giving birth was the hardest thing I would ever have to do.  Nope.  I would rather have 5 babies than try to repeat Sunday's events. 

Let's recap.
At Hubby's parents', before leaving the airport, everything went pretty well.  My dad didn't eat, but that is normal when he is nervous.  We had to say good-bye to Bella, but that was expected.  At the airport, my parents, Hubby's parents, & Hubby's godmother all cried when we left to board the plane.  That was expected, but still very hard.  I almost cried, but held it together.

Then the real fun started. As we were going through security, we were informed that they had closed the gate.  Were we late?  No.  Were we dawdling?  No.  Apparantly at that particular airport it is ok to leave early if they feel like it.  Anyway, so we dont have our shoes on & our stuff is still being scanned & we have to grab everything & RUN!  We almost got left!  Were it not for Hubby's godmother coming to the rescue, we wouldn't have made it.  Stressful already!

The plane from WV to DC was teeny tiny & hot & noisy.  Of course Baby Girl didn't sleep; so Hubby made her bottle while I held her (BTW: I had to start supplementing my nursing with formula).   It just so happened that the can of formula we brought was brand new.  So when he popped the tab it exploded from the change in air pressure and he got coated in baby formula!  :-)  We just looked at each other and laughed.  It was kind of a stress reliever after rushing onto the plane.  At that point we were still laughing at the bumps in the road.

Then we got to DC & boarded a much nicer plane.  At this point, I still had hope.  The plane was laid out with 2 seats near a window, an aisle, 5 seats in the midde, an aisle, & then 2 more seats by a window.  The 3 of us got the 3 middle seats in the row of 5. YAY!!  (That was sarcasm in case you missed it).  So we were wedged in the middle seats.  Baby Girl wouldn't sleep.  Instead, right before dinner was served & right after everyone got their drinks she pooped!  A green nasty poop.  So I then asked the awkward foreign pre-teen next to me to please let me out.  She was compliant, but unfortunately spilled her apple juice.  Just on the tray though, so it's no crisis.  OK, has anyone ever changed a diaper in an airplane bathroom?  Not fun.  Not even alright.  It's actually a total drag.

However, we got through it & headed back to our seat.  Baby Girl was getting sleepy at this point so we put her in her carseat & gave her a bottle in hopes that she would sleep.  It worked for about 2 hours.  She woke up sweating like crazy! We had a carseat blanket thingy on the carseat & I guess it works really well! She was burning up in there poor baby.  It will come in handy for Germany at least.  Well, that was all the sleep she got.  We played with her for awhile & let her watch some TV (desperate times call for desperate measures).
Then we landed & were the last people off the plane & the last people to get our luggage.  We had to go wait in this holding area with all the other army families arriving in Germany.  They told us that there would be somebody along to brief us very soon and that we needed to stay in the waiting area.  No time for food or phone calls.  So we wait & wait & wait. Wait for the briefing, wait for orders, wait and wait for the bus.  Baby Girl still hasn't slept.

Three plus hours later we got on the bus.  Guess what Baby Girl did?  She pooped.  AGAIN! yay.  I had no more clothes in her diaper bag & the rest of our stuff was under the bus.  She pooped SO MUCH that it leaked through her clothes.  So we changed her & just wrapped her up in a blanket. Then a little later, Baby Girl lost her cool in a big, big way.  She SCREAMED her little heart out.  I felt so bad.  I felt bad for her because she was so exhausted & I felt bad for the entire rest of the bus trying to sleep.
Hubby finally calmed her down by standing in the aisle and singing to her till she fell asleep.  So she FINALLY took a nap.  When the bus stopped for McDonalds, we (ok, Hubby, not me) dug through her clothes under the bus to find something to wear.  Because of her nap she was in a good mood at this point, thank goodness.  About an hour later I realized that I was sitting on butt paste.  Yes, the tube of butt paste was under me and I got butt pasted.  It was not only all over me, but all over the seat and even on Hubby.  Great.  Then when we're cleaning up the mess, we ran out of wipes.  Great.

FINALLY, like 8 billion hours later, we arrived in the place where we are temporarily staying.  Luckily there was someone there to drive our stuff, but unluckily me & Hubby & Baby Girl had to walk 3 blocks in the cold to our hotel.  I know, it's not that far, but all 3 of us were so tired we could barely drag our feet.  And, THEN, when we got to the hotel we were talking to Hubby's sponsor and found out that Hubby has to go to the field for 3 months before he deploys.  Excellent.  I lost my marbles.  I just wanted to go back home so bad.
One last thing.  This actually put things in perspective for me.  When we called home from the hotel to let family know we made it safe I found out that a very close relation of mine has melanoma.  Suddenly, living in Germany didn't seem too bad after all. 
Now, we have orgainzed our hotel home & we're ok for awhile.  Hopefully, we will get an apartment before Thanksgiving & also meet some people soon!   

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Army life thoughts

As I am still trying to record our trip from America to Germany, this post is a fill-in.  Today I met some army wives & hung out with them.  They were very nice & helpful & talked about army life & details that I need to know.  I am thankful that they took the time to hang out with me & get to know me a little bit.  I had a good day.

But what I'm thinking is that maybe I am just not cut out for the army life.  In a way, I think that doesn't make sense because this is where God has me.  But in another way, I can't do everything well so maybe this is a temporary period in my life that will be a challenge.  I just don't like the army life.  I don't mind the hotel & I can deal with Chris being gone (not talking deployment here, I mean just gone for weekends or whatever), but I really don't like army bases.  I really don't like all the rigid structure of the army & how masculine it all feels.  I don't like how my husband has so very little freedom to do what he wants when he wants, etc.  I don't like the alcohol or the crude jokes.  I don't even like how because I am a wife (with a baby no less!) I get all this special treatment.  It makes me feel like a child. 

So maybe this isn't for me.  I mean, it is for now because it has to be, but maybe we are just supposed to do the 4-year thing & then God will take us somewhere else.  I sure hope so! Today, the girls showed me their neighborhood & I thought "this is nice housing, but I don't know that I would want to live here".  It's ALL army families.  It's like a cult or something.  I think it's a great theory-put people together that are dealing with the same things.  Great theory, but not for me.  I want my family & I want my best friends.  Am I wrong?  I want to be with people who are different than me.  I am still jet-lagged so I may be doing a poor job of explaining things, but I want diversity.  I don't want to be surrounded by friggin' army everything!!

I really miss home right now so I probably have a bad attitude.  I just wish the 3 of us could go home & settle down near our friends & family.  I want to have another baby & not worry about deployment.  I want my dog & my cat to be able to live with us.  I miss everyone so much.  Things will get better. 

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Up late packing

Holy. Guacamole. 

Packing up our life.  Again.  It's like that Tim McGraw chorus "over & over again"...

When will the madness stop?????? 
I am so so lucky I am married to a man who takes responsibility for me & our baby daughter.  It is midnight fifteen here & he is packing, packing, packing.  I would help him (and I am when he asks me to) but he is by far the best packer I know.  He is fitting a lot of life into our luggage :) 

So far, army life has been major crap.  So far, it is totally not my thing.  But I remind myself that this is what God has chosen for me during this season of life so I guess it is my thing!  This is my army life as far as living situations go (as best we can tell...it may change):

1 year-ROTC
6 months-BOLC
6 months-overseas
1 year-back to the states
6 months-back overseas
6 months-captain's career course (back in the states)

Friggin' ridiculous if you ask me.  Not that anyone is or anything.  *sigh*

We are leaving very shortly to go to Europe.  I think I will like it once we get over there.  It is kind of a bummer that I will only be there for about 6 months (nothing is in stone yet).  It's like I want my life to be somewhere-either here or there.  Traveling overseas for half of a year with an infant is a DRAG!  Of course, Hubby is worth it.  OF COURSE!  I would never choose to be apart from him just for convenience sake.  I hope Baby Girl adjusts ok to the time change.  We will be uber-dependant on God those first few days with her schedule plus finding an apartment, etc. 

I am so tired that this post may not even be making sense! I will probably read it tomorrow & see how it is total gibberish :)

On another front, we are hopefully going to be getting pregnant sometime in the next year!  It is so funny because with our first we were super secretive about it & now we are announcing it to the world.  Funny how things change.  If we do get pregnant, then we would have 2 babies & I love the thought of that!  We would have a little baby & a big baby.  Baby Girl will always be my baby though!  Of course, God may have other plans for us.  Only time will tell!!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Preparing for a new adventure

Another adventure?  Really, another one?  Having a baby & moving across the country wasn't a big enough adventure for me?  Well, maybe it was & maybe it wasn't, but another one is coming fast!  Moving to Oklahoma wasn't exactly my kind of adventure anyway.  More like, forced labor :)

Now, going back to Europe is right up my alley, but even that is bittersweet for me.  All because of Baby Girl.  Oh, sweet sweet baby girl.  I am excited to go back to Europe.  I have missed it terribly.  Living in Europe is not like living anywhere in America... well, I haven't lived everywhere in America or anything, but it wasn't like living anywhere I had lived.  Living overseas changes you and challenges you in ways that living at home cannot.  That's not to say that God doesn't change and challenge you in other ways if you don't live overseas because of course He does.  He obviously has a special plan for everyone & they are all different!  All that to say that He used my time in Europe intensely.  It was such a purifying time because I had no "comforts".  I had hot water & food & those comforts but I didn't have my mom or my church or my best friends (although at the end of 2 years I had made several new best friends!) so I had to depend on God alone or perish.  It was HARD-make no mistake about that.  I cried a lot, but it made me a stronger woman and a stronger Christian.

Going back this time will be different.  I am not going soley to do ministry (but I hope I manage to do some anyway).  I am going with my family (Hubby & Baby Girl) so I won't be alone.  So, I wonder if God will use my time in Europe again.  I can't imagine He will use it as much, but I know that He could if He chose to do that.  I feel that I am once again a weak Christian so maybe He will use it to make me strong again like He did before.  I would like that even if it meant hard times again.

Anyway, onto the bitter part. Baby Girl.  Any good parent wants the best for their babies.  I try to give Baby Girl the best.  Not the latest or greatest gadget, but what I believe to be the best.  Love, boundaries, safety, assurance, freedom to be herself, guidance, etc.  I left one thing off that list: family.  I want her to know her family.  I want her to know her grandparents & cousins & her aunts & uncles.  I do mean biological family, but I also mean family in the sense of people who are sometimes closer than a blood family.  Are you following?  I have some BEST friends who I would die for without thinking & I want Baby Girl to know them as much as she knows my sister or Hubby's 'brother' J.   I want her to grow up knowing these "aunts" & their children, her "cousins".  She won't call them that of course, but I plan on being involved with these people until I leave this earth, so I hope that she comes to love them as I love them, as family.  I may not have money & I may not have a great fashion sense, but God has blessed me abundantly with AMAZING best friends.  Between me & Hubby, we also have a pretty amazing family...biologically speaking I mean :)

Wow-I am really carrying on today! All THAT to say the bitter part is leaving our family behind.  Not for us because we have long memories & we know 2 years is not forever, but for Baby Girl who will no longer be a baby when we live in the states again.  Baby Girl who will not recognize her "aunts" when she's sees them in person.  It makes me want to cry knowing that she won't know the awesomeness that is Aunt Fancy or "cousin" I or her biological cousins B & O.  And, her grandparents.  Skype is a wonderful thing & I have high high hopes that she will recognize her grandparents when she sees them in the flesh.  But she wont know what they smell like or how their arms feel holding her.  She wont know that she has a special place in their homes that's just for her.  She wont know the dogs that go along with the people!

Sad, huh?  Sad, but temporary.  I find peace in knowing that 2-year-olds don't have great memories so when she is 12 she won't know that she didn't know her family when she was 2.  Confused yet?  Re-read it, you'll get it :)

In other news, Baby Girl is sleeping through the night & smiling all the time!! What a happy baby who brings MUCH joy to my life! 

I still can't wait to have more.  I want more, like, stat!  I get excited just thinking about it.  Maybe I'll even have twins! I would love that...I think ;)  Hubby is ready for more also.  I am making myself wait until Baby Girl turns one.  It's taking forever!! Haha, just kidding.  I am enjoying the ride for now.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Haps

Weeeeeeeell, not much has been going on lately. 

I still want to have another baby really bad.  One of my BFF's is pregnant & wouldn't it be great to be pregnant with her?  (Maybe not the best reason to get pregnant, but still).  One of my other friends just brought home twin girls & I am green with envy.  (Really, ask Hubby).  However, last night I laid in bed at 11pm & tried to imagine those first few days when you get no sleep & I was thankful that Baby Girl is sleeping better...although STILL not sleeping thru the night!  I guess she'll figure it out eventually.  She sleeps thru the night anywhere from 2-4 times a week.
As far as getting pregnant, me & Hubby discussed it 2 nights ago & figured out different scenerios & we have decided that unless God deems otherwise we are going to wait.  Mostly, because if I got pregnant now, the baby would be born in Germany & we would rather wait until we are back in the states (well, me at least.  Hubby will probably be deployed somewhere.  *sniffle*).

Last night we had a meat salesman stop by at our house.  Seriously.  Even more random, we bought $85 worth of meat!  It's a lot of steaks though for about $3 a pop.  Hope it tastes good!  I didn't even know door to door salespeople even existed still.  Kids, sure...but like adults trying to make a living, I thought those professions had died out.  But, what do I know? 

My goals are going pretty good.  I am definitely reading more to Baby Girl.  I finished my Bible Study scrapbook.  I am not doing so hot with the non-fiction & reading news articles, but I am still trying.  Working out is kind of hit or miss week to week.  I will say my stomach is starting to shrink so I must be doing something right.  I can fit into all of my jeans, but a couple of them look painted on :)  Hubby likes those ;)

My sis came & visited us which was fun. 

Yeah, that's about all!  Like I said, not much happening :) 
Now, if you were interested in what is going on in the literary world, we could probably talk for hours! 

Sunday, August 01, 2010

August Goals

I like 'em.  I'm a goal kinda girl.  And, this month, I've got lots. 
But I'm excited to try to attack them & make them submit :)  Some of my daily goals are....

1.) To read a Yahoo News Article every day.  Just one a day.  No biggie.  Problem is that I am not into the news.  Which isn't a problem for everyone, but it is for me.  Because I want to know what's going on in my country & around the world.  I think it's important.  I want to be able to hear an Obama speech & know what the heck he's talking about.  So one news article a day for now.  For August at least...

2.) To make my bed. Every day. Pretty self-explanatory I think.

3.) To take 20 mins every day to read non-fiction.  You see, there are lots of non-fiction books I want to read (books like...You on a Diet, Becoming Babywise, Super Baby Food).  I'm really good at buying them, but not so good at reading them.  I am making progress...just not the progress I want.  And, no time is not an issue.  I read 13 fiction books this month.  No joke.  13.  I counted them.

4.) To spend some intimate time with God each day.  Not massive amounts, just some.  Shouldn't be too hard.  Shouldn't being the key phrase here.

5.) To read to Baby Girl 20  mins a day.  I cannot tell you how many articles I have read that emphasize the importance of reading to your baby.  I really really really want this one to happen.  The roadblock with this one is that baby books are just boring.  But I guess I better get over it since I will be reading them for a long long time.  I dont know any kids that read James Patterson :)

Then I have a couple of weekly goals...

1.) Exercise 3x a week.  Right now, I am getting in 1-2 workouts.  Time to step it up!!

2.) Scrapbook 2hours a week.  2 hours a week!! That's nothing! I mean, come on!  I am ridiculous.  There are several scrapbooks waiting on me.  My bible study scrapbook (50% finished), my STINT scrapbook from 2006 (75% finished), my army scrapbook (haven't started yet), mmm...that's it I think.  And, NO, I am not going to start a scrapbook for Baby Girl.  An 18-year project?? No thank you.  You did see where I haven't finished the one from 2006, right?  I try not to make unrealistic goals, so Baby Girl is only getting a photo album.  If I ever have copious amounts of time & creativity, I'll scrapbook her life then.

All that's left is cleaning goals which I wont bore you with.  Here's to a productive August!!

*A derogatory comment about Hugh Hefner has been removed (in case you saw some of the comments reference it).  I removed it because God told me to :) 

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Baby Fever

Holy Guacamole.  I seriously have baby fever.  Funny thing about that is that I already have a baby.  When I was trying to get pregnant with Baby Girl I didn't have baby fever.  When all my friends at church starting having babies, I didn't get baby fever.  When I got married I didn't get baby fever.  But, NOW, that I actually have a baby, I have baby fever.

Maybe it's because Baby Girl makes my heart swell with joy and love and happiness.  Maybe it's because I love being a mommy so so so much.  Maybe it's because it feels like this is what I am meant to do.  Maybe it's because I live in a town with no friends and no family & Hubby works all the time so Baby Girl is the only part of my life right now with any substance & I want to recreate it.  Maybe it's because God has placed that desire in me for a reason. 

I dunno!  BUT, it does feel crazy to have a baby who hasn't even rolled over yet & want another so bad I can't see straight.  I do tend to exaggerate btw :)  I was never even excited to be pregnant...I never really looked forward to holding Baby Girl or anything.  I did vaguely wonder what she would like her (spitting image of her father...poo).   This desire has most definitely taken me by surprise.  I am not going to rush out and get pregnant again or anything.  I'm way too scared to do that.  Wanting and ready are two different things I think.

But, seriously, check out this chick & tell me how I could not possibly want more of this wonderfulness...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Bucket List

Yep, 'tis true.  I am going to make a bucket list.  I am pretty sure I made one of these years ago in some journal.  But there is no way I am going to go digging around in my emotions from 8ish years ago to find it!  No thank you, I'll keep my present day :) 

First thing on my bucket list (I never saw that movie...why is it called that? Seems pretty random! Did the movie coin that term or was it already in existance?  Anyway...) is playing the piano.  I have a gorgeous old piano just waiting on me at my parents house.  It is just normal but the legs are curvy...the legs swirl around like the top of an ice cream cone.  Wish I had a picture.  It really is so pretty.  I miss it.

Not only do I have a piano, but I took lessons for maybe a year or two in maybe middle school.  Details are fuzzy :)  I have super duper long skinny fingers & they LOVED playing piano.  My piano teacher's husband's mother died & they apparantly got a nice enough inheritance so she quit.  Don't blame her.  Anyhoo, that's why I quit.

But I will play again...one day.  One day when we have a house of our own.  One day when we are in one place long enough to take lessons.  One day maybe me & Baby Girl can take lessons together!  That would be a dream come true.  Seriously.   

Friday, July 09, 2010

Maximum Ride: Saving The World & Other Extreme Sports Book Review

Ok, I have to admit that I have never read an adult James Patterson novel.  I hesitate using the word "novel" because in my mind that word is reserved for some loftier genre of literature other than mystery or romance, but I have no idea what, if any, difference there is between a book and a novel.

Anyway, this was a first for me.  Of course it's classified as Young Adult since I can't seem to pull myself away from that genre of books.  In fact, tonight I am planning on going to the library with Hubby & I am 99% sure that the Young Adult section will be the only one I venture into while there.  Although I did buy the book "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson, I haven't started reading it yet.  This week I have read "Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins, "Trickster's Queen" by Tamora Pierce, & of course "Maximum Ride" by James Patterson.  No, I don't read like a speed demon...I just read multiple books at once & I tend to subconsciously pace myself so I finish them all about the same time.  No idea why. I am also almost done with a fourth ("As Sure As The Dawn" by Francine Rivers).

Anyway, I promise I am going to review this book in this post.  I loved it!  Which surprised me.  I read a lot of books (duh), but I don't love a lot of books.  In fact, I only love probably 5-10% of the books I read.  It was simple of course.  It was extremely light reading...I started & finished it today...even while taking care of a 12-week-old!  Who will be waking up any minute now so I better hurry!  But there is just something about these bird kids that I loved.  They have sass & they have heart.  The good news is that this was the 3rd book in a series of 7...so far!  I have no idea how many Mr. Patterson plans on writing, but I plan on reading them.  They may not stay good...you know how normally the more books or movies are made, the less satisfying they are (except with trilogies...3 can be a magical number).  

I wouldn't recommend these books to everybody because like I said they are very light reads.  But I'll tell you what, James Patterson can write!  He had me flipping those pages so fast! He kind of lost my interest a little tiny bit at the end...things maybe worked out a little bit too cleanly if you know what I mean, but overall a very fun read!  I am very interested in reading one of his adult novels to see if he "beefs" them up at all.  If he doesn't, I think I will be disappointed because if these were written for adults, I would not have liked them so much.  I think it's normal to alter your expectations when you consider the audience. 

For example, I saw "The Last Airbender" with Hubby & I just hope that the movie was M. Night Shymalan's attempt at a movie geared to a younger audience.  If not, then I have to say that other than awesome special affects, it wasn't very good.  But thinking it was made for children makes it a much better movie.  I have no idea what his intentions were, by the way, I'm just sayin'. 

Also, they are supposedly making Maximum Ride into a movie which could be pretty cool.  The concept of flying kids is unique right now (unlike, say, vampires!!!) & it could actually be a very pretty movie.  I mean, wings are gorgeous, right??  I think I would have to read the original Maximum Ride book to see what I think about a movie cuz I'm sure that's the one they would turn into a movie. 

Alrighty, that's all I got.
Happy Reading!!

I'm off to re-read the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare
You know they are awesome because I am RE-reading them.  I just bought them all in hardback & can't wait to indulge in the fiction decadence!!

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Moment by Moment

"Being filled with the Spirit is not a one-time event, but a moment by moment experience".  So says Catherine Martin. 
Bill Bright agrees with her.  He writes, "Every day can be an exciting adventure for the Christian who has discovered the key to supernatural living, for such a person knows the reality of being filled with the Holy Spirit and lives constantly, moment by moment, under His gracious guidance and love". 

It is so simple too.  Just ask.  Well, first confess any sin & then ask.  Bill Bright calls this spiritual breathing (exhale the sin, inhale the Holy Spirit).  I tried it a few minutes ago.  I really tried to think of sin & a few things came to mind, but I know I sin constantly & not that much came to mind.  Being lazy is always a biggie for me.  Also not believing the best in people...which if I'm being honest I think very few people in this world do that one very well.  I'm happy to report that my husband is the only person I know that does that with any consistency.  It's just too easy to point our fingers and say "It's your fault & you should know better". 
Anyway, back on topic.  I tried spiritual breathing & I'm hoping to keep it up.  I don't feel any different, but at least for today I communicated with God for a few minutes which is more than I did yesterday.  I like this moment by moment concept because it's not a big mountain to climb.  It's just seems simple to me.  Me & simple get along.

One other thing that Bill Bright wrote struck me.  He writes, "The Holy Spirit has come to give us a supernatural life more wonderful than the human mind can conceive or comprehend". 

Umm, yeah, I want that please.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Baby Chubb

I can't get this baby weight off of me.  Now, I have gained weight before.  Lots of weight.  I gained 40 pounds my freshmen year of college (I blame the beer for that one!).  40 pounds in one year (one school year-9 months)!  To me, that is a lot.  But then I lost it.  I have gained & lost weight my entire life.  It doesn't take much to gain it & it doesn't take much to lose it.  Until now.  This baby chubb is sticking to me like glue.  I am breastfeeding which must be helping because everyone says it does.  The problem is not so much the number on the scale because it is almost to my pre-baby number (about 4 pounds over is all).  The problem is that even though I am losing weight, I am not losing baby chubb.  I don't know where I am losing it but it is not my gut.  My gut.  Even when I was 40 pounds overweight, I did not have a gut quite like this.  I hate it!! It is one of those guts that people will say "What gut? You dont have a gut! Shut up about it already".  But the thing is for me, it is a gut that I have never had before.  Yes, a T-shirt will cover it up, but I can still see it in the shower & my husband still sees it & it makes me feel bad so I will whine about it if I want to thank you very much. 

So, now the problem remains how to deal with the gut.  Let me tell you why this is a problem.  I do not like working out.  Cutting calories?  No problem.  Eat less?  No problem.  Since those actions aren't working, I am forced to consider exercise.  Which I don't like.  Actually, hate is a more acurate word.  Really, I'm not kidding.  I don't even like carrying in groceries from the car because I have to use my arm muscles! I am the queen of lazy.  Kind of embarassing, but there you have it.

Lucky me, I talked to one of my favorite people yesterday, Ms. Nutrition, & she has motivated my butt.  You can go to exercisetv.com & do free exercise videos.  I did one yesterday! It was a dance one & it wasn't too bad.  I also bought Dr. Roizen & Dr. Oz's book "You on a Diet" which was $26.99!! Yikes! But I had a 33% off coupon & $5 in Borders Bucks so I only paid $13.  Still pretty expensive, but when I think about all the food I waste money on (one meal in a restaurant is like 30 bucks) I think something that I can read & reread & keep for years is probably worth more than something that is here today, gone tomorrow.

So, just to lay it out.  Ms. Nutrition is getting married in October & I am a Bridesmaid.  It is my goal to be a size 8.  I was smaller than that when I got married 2 years ago, but I am taking things one day at time. I don't just want to fit into a size 8, I want to be a size 8.  I want my stomach & my thighs to be a size 8.  So, wish me luck! Here we go!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Saturday fun

I love Saturday mornings.  Not because I got to sleep in (because I didn't), not because Hubby isn't working (because he is), & not because we have weekend plans (because we don't).  Nope, I love Saturday mornings because of Saturday morning cartoons!! I LOVE them! I watch Qubo.  My favorite cartoon is "Jane & the Dragon", my second favortie is "Willa's Wild Life", & my third favortie is "3-2-1 Penguins" :)

Even when I was working full-time (which included weekends), every Saturday I had off I made sure I got up early enough to watch my cartoons.  Hubby watches them with me when he can.  They are really good!!

I can't wait until Baby Girl is big enough to watch them with me. I just know it will be a favorite family tradition. Along with Sunday afternoon naps :) I love her age right now (10 weeks).  She is very easy to manage (as long as she is happy!) & she takes regular naps so I still have a lot of time to do things I want to do.  But I do think about when she is older & how much fun we will have playing tea party & coloring & playing in the baby pool.  I will have someone to play with-how fun! I look forward to having conversations with her & teaching her about things she doesn't understand & making cookies with her.  Sounds fun!

I shouldn't say I "can't wait" because I can.  I don't want to wish away her baby stage because it is precious & fleeting.  I want to remember the times when she wakes up & wants to snuggle.  I want to remember when her feet were too little to wear all the cute shoes she has in her closet.  I want to remember having to hold her little head up because she can't hold it up herself.  I even want to remember those special middle of the night feedings when it's just the two of us & it's quiet & intimate.  Even Bella stays in her bed at 4am! :)

I want to remember this:

Thursday, June 24, 2010

True to form

Well, my unproductive self has been staying true to form this week.  Four days of opportunity have only yielded one day of any actual action on  my part.  What is my problem??  Hubby made a to-do list for me (it helps me) so on Monday I was super hyped up to get stuff done.  I paid the bills, made the bed, did the dishes, studied my Bible, & did laundry.  Wow-that was a good day (a REALLY REALLY good day if you are me!).  Then on Tuesday, I made the bed.  Yes-that's all.  Then on Wednesday, I took a walk.  Yes-that's all.  Then today, I have done nothing.  Yes-seriously nothing.

The funny thing is that Baby Girl's room is anally organized.  Her clothes are SUPER organized as in no one better move anything because I have a system & I like it, her blankets stay folded & put away, her socks all match each other, her stuffed animals sit in a nice little row, her books sit in a nice little basket, & if there is ever anything on her floor, I pick it up.  (I know-picking stuff up off the floor-what a concept!) It is like there is a secret part of me that is released when it comes to her.  I definitely think it is a good thing...I just wish it bleed over onto other areas of my life.  Areas like the kitchen & the living room :)

Today, I will vacuum or die. 

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

"Life of Pi" Book Review

ok, weird.  But not bad, really. At first I really didn't like it, but it grew on me.  I think it goes slowly in the beginning & I still fail to see exactly how relevant those details about Pi's life are that take place during the first third of the book.

Let me back up.

The "Life of Pi" is written by Yann Martel & is about a boy/teenager/man named Piscine who goes by Pi for short.  It is about his upbringing, but mostly it's about a shipwreck that leaves him stranded on a lifeboat with a Spotted Hyena, a Zebra, an Orangutan, & a Bengal Tiger.  It is one of those stranded stories about survival.   (Robinson Crusoe by Daniel DeFoe, The Open Boat by Stephen Crane, Cast Away, etc.) 

The use of animals is one of my favorite aspects in this book.   Which may be so obvious to most readers, but when I picked up the book to read it, I didn't know what it was about.  I don't really know why I picked it up, but I think I had heard of it before or something.  So, anyway, the use of animals was really intriging to me.  In the first part of the book, the author talks about "animalus anthropomorphicus" which basically means giving human attributes to animals.  Like, in your mind, you turn a grizzly bear into a fuzzy, huggable creature because you think bears act like humans.   But, really they are bears.  Dogs are dogs, but a lot of people think dogs have the same brain capacity as children.  They really don't.  So what is up with all these animals?  Tiger=alpha dawg. Hyene=crazy.  Zebra=sweet. Orangutan=brave.  Are these attributes of Pi's? 

It is also a coming of age story.  Pi, in a sense, morphs from a scared boy into a man who becomes dominant over the tiger.  That part I understand.  After this, however, they (Pi & the tiger...the only animal who survives in the lifeboat) end up on an island that "eats" anything warm blooded at night.  By eat, I mean fries them alive. Really strange stuff.  Over my head I assume. 

I don't really know.  It was very interesting, but I'm not sure what it's bigger purpose is (I only assume there is a bigger purpose than entertainment), or what the author is trying to say.  I probably wouldn't recommend it, but it was on the best seller's list (whose?  I'm not sure!) so maybe I am missing something.  Every once in awhile I try to venture out of my Young Adult world, but this time I was unsuccessful.  It is amazing to me that I have a degree in English & love books as much as I need oxygen, but still can read a book & be like "what the...?"

Anyway, this is my first book review so sorry it's not stellar.
I don't really know which books to review & which ones not to...but I think I'll stick to easier ones :)
Happy Reading!!

Monday, June 21, 2010

A.W. Tozer thoughts

I just don't think I am ever going to get it.  This elusive "abundant" spiritual life.  I just don't get it.  It's not about a spiritual to-do list.  There is no special formula.  Even if I read my bible, pray, & meditate on scripture, I still may not get it.  Maybe I am just too literal or maybe I rely too heavily on tangible goals, but I don't think I will ever have the abundant life that scripture outlines (Power in the Holy Spirit, praying unceasing, counting it all as loss, intimacy with Christ, etc).  Maybe I am just not dedicated enough to the cause if you know what I mean.  Maybe I only say I want this life, but I dont really mean it or I'm not really willing to make the sacrifices in order to get it.

A. W. Tozer.  There is a man who got it.  In talking about the Power of the Holy Spirit, he says that part of the Spirit's work is to "reveal objects already present & hidden from the soul" & when these objects become aware to a person, he goes on to describe what this effect will have (hope that makes sense!).  He writes, "[Christ] is felt to be a real Person & to be intimately, ravishingly near...Prayer loses it's unmeaning quality & becomes a sweet conversation with Someone actually there.  Love for God & for the children of God takes possession of the soul.  We feel ourselves to be near to heaven & it is now the earth & the world that begin to seem unreal...Then the whole life changes to suit the new reality & the change is permanent".  I mean, come on, what child of God wouldn't want that?   But the thing is wanting it & having it are quite different.  I don't have it.  I don't know how to get it.  I don't think I will ever have it if I'm being honest.  

Going back to what I said in the beginning of this post, the reason I don't know how to get it is because there is nothing tangible I can do to get it.  There is no checklist to ensure my success.  With Christ, everything is about your heart.  So if my heart is defunct, then my life is defunct.  No amount of bible reading will fix my heart, right?  So, is my heart defunct?  I don't understand that because I do know Jesus, His Spirit does reside inside of me so my heart can't be defunct. 

See the circles I run in?  I-yie-yie.  

*Text taken from The Divine Conquest by A.W. Tozer

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Yet another reason why everyone loves Bella

Today Bella made my day.

She was driving me oh-so-crazy this afternoon so I finally went outside with her to play.  Upon entering the back yard she proceeds to do about 15 laps (think she was happy to be playing?).  Then, she pounces on her toy & attempts to taunt me with it.  I have to wonder if she thinks I actually want her dirty, saliva damp rope or she knows I only humor her.  Well, Bella isn't exactly a throw-and-fetch kinda dog.  She is more like a "chase me! chase me!" kinda dog.  And Oklahoma is HOT so needless to say I didn't chase her for very long.

Instead, I decided to water our almost dead lawn.  Dead grass is so not a problem in West Virginia so watering is new to me.  I know there must be some really excellent way to water a lawn, but I basically just point & shoot with the hose.  No, it doesn't get watered evenly & no, it's probably not very effective, but it's all I got.  Anyway, in watering the lawn I discovered that Bella is afraid of the water hose! She runs from it like it is poisonous! I sprayed her a couple of times which really freaked her out.  She is afraid of the water hose, yet she will lap up bacteria laden water & eat cat poop.  What gives? 

Well, while I was still watering, a little white doggy stuck it's head through our wooden fence.  Bella freezes.  Freezes & stares.  I guess the little doggy didn't see us because it just hopped right into our yard.  So I said "Hi doggy" which caused it to run back out of our yard which lit a fire under Bella's butt to try to follow it.  However, Bella is a big dog & will not fit into the opening in our fence so all I could see was a white butt wiggling.  Then I think the little white doggy must have run away because Bella proceeded to do about 10 more laps in our yard.  I guess she was excited about our visitor :) 

It was so funny! I love dogs!!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Wow.  Today was monster un-productive.  I think productivity will be something that I struggle with the rest of my life.  Every day if I don't fight it, I lose to it.  I have a newborn which requires me to be a bit productive, at least in areas concerning her.  As in, I feed her & change her & bathe her & cuddle her.  But when she is napping, I got nothing.  What did I do?  I watched Lost, read blogs, watched Lost, read part of "Graceling", watched Lost, ate lunch...ummm...watched Lost.  Yeah, my life is pathetic. 

I don't work, I only have 1 child who takes naps & I didn't even crack open my bible today...it's the least I could do.  I remember a couple of weeks ago when all Baby Girl did was cry & cry & cry & how I was so closer to the Lord because I was constantly feeling the need to lean on Him & I was praying for Him to make it better at 3AM.  And now today I didn't even open my Bible.  There is so much I need to be seeking Him about- Hubby's placement, making friends in this new town, Baby Girl's sleeping schedule, not to mention praying for others. I just need to be close to Him period. Ay-yie-yie.

So, yeah, productivity is the concept that I have to fight for daily, practically hourly.  I long to be like those people who rise @ 6AM, clean their kitchen, take a walk, & do whatever else those people do.  I rise at the last possible minute, am lucky if I get a shower in, open the door so the dog can go outside & sometimes don't even eat because it's too much work!  Not every day is like that, but every day easily could be if I didn't make a conscious decison for it to be different.

Ahhhh, tommorrow is another day with a clean slate & endless possibilites :)

Friday, June 04, 2010

The Abundant Life

So, I started a new bible study about the Holy Spirit.  I needed to have something to do every day! I'm not so good at "self-study" :) 

Anyway, the author told me to "talk with God today about your life.  Ask Him to give you real and abundant life".  Okay, I can talk to God about that. 

But, I have no idea what "abundant life" looks like in Oklahoma with a newborn, a dog, a cat, & a soldier.  What should I be striving for & if I don't know what to be striving for, how will I get there?  Does abundant life look like serving others or seriously studying God's word?  Or maybe it looks like being a supportive wife?  Or Mommy-extradinaire?  How do I KNOW what abundant life for me looks like? 

I tell God all the time that I want to live out my personal motto since becoming a mommy: "Don't just survive, but thrive".  But again, I don't know what thriving looks like.  Maybe it's not crying every day or laughing more or being organized & keeping my house clean?  Maybe it's having personal hobbies or making friends? 

So, I know there isn't a magical answer, but does anyone have insight on how to know when you have "arrived" at this elusive concept of an abundant life?  Or how to go about getting there?

Friday, May 28, 2010


Well, I got a baby now :)

She's pretty & she likes to cry a lot.  Well, maybe "like" isn't the correct word, but she does cry a lot.  She actually is NOT crying right now so I have a moment (but maybe just one) to play catch up. 

We moved-that was hard.  We had no furniture for about a week.  Not fun when you are breast feeding 8 times a day.  We still have about 20 boxes in the garage that remain unopened.  But we have the necesities so why bother since we will be moving again in 6 months?  Love that army. 

Hubby is leaving for 6 days on the field.  I get to be alone with no one for company (& no one to help) except a dog, a cat, & a newborn with colic.  Sounds like fun, huh?  But enough complaining!

I suppose God wants me to be alone.  Depend on Him, turn to Him...more like cling to Him with every breath I take!  In my head, I know it's a good place to be...utter dependance on God.  It's hard though.  It seems like this baby is attached to my hip & I guess that's how God wants me to be with Him.  The more He takes away, the more I need Him.  

On a more positive note, I LOVE not being pregnant anymore!!  It's the best ever!  My stomach is flat, my pains are gone, I get to button my pants, & NO heartburn!

We have also been blesssed with an amazing house & an amazing back deck & an amazing child.  I'm rich in love :) 

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Productive Me

You may think that the title of this post is contradictory in nature if you know who the "me" is (it is me, after all).  However, Hubby has been gone for 5 days & as I have done NO-THING I want to & I will begin being productive.

(on a side note, Regis is on with his wife today because Kelly is gone & it is hilarious!  His wife should seriously be on everyday.  He is SO MUCH funnier with his wife than with Kelly.  They bicker & tease & are totally cracking me up!)

Ok, commercial break.  Back to productivity.  Here are a few of the things I will get done before I go into labor :)

1.) I will wash all of Baby Girl's clothes.  I am tempted just to wash the little ones, but with all this time on my hands, I think I might as well wash all of them.  Besides, once I open the Dreft, the movers won't move it, so I better use as much of it as I can.  I might wash my own clothes in it-is that bad?

2.) I will do a Bible Study scrapbook.  I have been talking about this since LAST summer & now I have 2 weeks to do it before it becomes a lost cause.  But if I work on it everyday, I can get it done.

(oh crap, now Jeff Goldblum is one.  I love that guy.  Back to you in a minute)

3.) OK, I will also write in Baby Girl's baby book.  There are lots of pages to fill out before she arrives & if I don't at least get a head start on it...yep, you guessed it...another lost cause.

OK, for me that is enough.  I am not one of those people that make more goals than I can keep because it motivates me.  Hubby is like that.  I do better with smaller, more attainable goals so that I don't get overwhelmed & give up. 

SO, here's to hoping!

Also,  today I have already done the dishes (because I hadn't done ANY since hubby left. Surprise, surprise) & I am getting ready to vacuum!

Monday, March 29, 2010


I am doing pretty good today. I suppose that my emotional state will ebb & flow as long as I have all these pregnancy hormones swishing around inside of me!

I got through the first weekend without hubby without too much damage to my heart.

AND, hubby found a place for us to live! It is going to stretch our budget a bit, but not throw us into debt or anything...we are just going to get creative :)  It's a 3-BR house with a back yard in a good neighborhood, close to Walmart, and close to Mexican food.  Give me Walmart, give me Mexican & I'm pretty happy.  I can't wait to see it in person! Hubby has sent me pictures & I think it looks perfect for us & the babies!

AND, I have plans every single weekend till Baby Girl comes! Yay!

I hope hubby is doing ok without us.  At least by tomorrow, he will be out of the hotel.  Hopefully, time will go by fast for both of us.  I miss him so much!  I can picture him in the doorway or sitting on the couch with me.  Today I even pictured him at the Dr. with me!  I hope I don't sound too crazy...:)

So, SMILE because life is ok, but God is great!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


Gone. My love is gone.  Truth be told yesterday was way worse than today.  I did really good yesterday at lunch & loading up the car.  Then before dinner, I went to snuggle with my baby cat who also went with my love & I told him (the cat) that it wasn't forever & I. Lost. It.  The tears absolutely would not stop for a long time.  Hubby went outside to pick up doggie dung & I sat on the porch and just cried and cried and cried.  Then when I sort of stopped, we went to eat at the Herd Cafe-one last Marshall meal :)  I wasn't bawling or anything, just consistent leakage.  Poor hubby-I don't know how he puts up with me. When your pregnant, everything just seems so much harder than normal. Finally, when we laid down to go to bed, I stopped.  I gave him a Benadryl so he would get some sleep before his 16-hour drive today. 
I woke up at 3:30 to give our kitty a sedative...which bless his heart made him woozy snoozy.  He couldn't walk in a straight line!  If I didn't feel so bad for him, I would have taken pictures.  But I just couldn't make fun of the poor guy.  His second set of eyelids came up & he really looked drunk or something.  I still feel bad for him!  He's my baby!  But, truth be told, we did have a good laugh ;-)
Then we woke up for real around 4am & did last minute stuff (snuggle with our babies one last time...me with Phoenix, Hubby with Bella) & then he left a bit before 5.  I, of course, called him at 5:15 to check on him & Phoenix & then I called him again when I went back to sleep around 6ish, & again at 8:30 when I woke up & again at 10 when I woke up again.  And I've talked to him pretty consistently since then.  At least every hour or so. So, the hardest part is over for me.  Now, hubby's hard part is going to be the drive (as I type this 8 hours later he is only halfway there!) & finding us an apartment.  And, the hardest is yet to come after the birth of our daughter when we must separate once again.  But, for today, I am ok :) And so is hubby :)

On another note, my sis is coming to visit me today with a friend & 2 dogs! They drove all the way from Colorado to visit East Coast family and such.  I am glad Bella will have some friends tonight because she is acting so weird.  She keeps whining.  Hubby normally works all day so either she just knows something is wrong or she misses the cat...??  Poor girl-I will never provide the fun & excitement that hubby does.  He gets on the floor with her & rolls around & plays tug-of-war with her.  I try, but I am kind of allergic to her & she is way stronger than me, so tug-of-war is no fun.  She's a sweet dog.  I tried to take her on a walk, but it was sprinkling so we pretty much just walked to the end of the block and back.  Another thing hubby would do is take her for a walk in the rain.  I wish she wasn't stuck with me, but I would be way more lonely without her. 

I am still trying to compile my Top 10 list for Huntington, so suggestions are still welcome :)  

Monday, March 22, 2010


Well...my "new & improved" blog is looking much better, no?  It takes time to make cool changes, but it's not that hard.  You just have to find people smarter than yourself who will tell you what to do step by step :)

I have found lots of good info on the website The Cutest Blog on the Block and also Kevin and Amanda.

Check out their websites!

I think for my next blog I am going to do a "Top 10 Things I Will Miss in Huntington"  so let me know if you got anything you think is worthy of that list :)

Friday, March 19, 2010


OK, so firstly, I am feeling better. So no one else cry about my last blog! Although there are rarely comments on here, I know people read this thing because multiple peeps told me how bad they felt after my last blog!

Secondly, I was out exploring other blogs & man, there are some really cool apps you can put on your blog that I don't know how to do! I was looking for army wife blogs so I can feel that my life is what at least some people call "normal" & I found lots of awesome blogs! All of them kick my blogs butt though. I thought I did OK on computers. Wrong. I suck. It is really good for me to read other army wives blogs since I am in army wife that hasn't entered the army world yet, but has pretty much left the civilian world. So, I am surrounded by people that I LOVE but whose lives are going in really different directions than mine is & sometimes that's hard. It is so refreshing to read about people whose husbands leave them for a week here or a month here & who have no control of where they are going to live. Stuff like that. Army stuff.

Thirdly, I am determined to improve my blog. But I know nothing! I don't know how to make a button or even cross out a word that I just wrote to insert another one (only if you read a lot of blogs will you know what I am talking about!) Somehow I will learn. I think you can look up just about anything on google. At least that's what my friend Stacey tells me :)

Fourthly, it is 1:30pm & I am still in my PJ's & have not eaten anything since my bowl of cereal for breakfast. I am so enthralled with all these awesome blogs I can't tear myself away. Facebook, Smashebook, give me blogs anyday!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I wonder if I am going to cry every day until this baby is born. Maybe I'll just cry everyday until Hubby leaves, but I hardly think that him leaving will help. It's just that many of my tears are from thoughts of him not being here & maybe once he's actually gone, I'll see that I'm ok. I don't know. So many of my other tears are from thoughts of leaving behind all I know. I don't want to leave behind my Bible study. They are going to all grow old without me. I don't want to leave behind family. I don't want to leave behind our life here. I'm happy here.
All my best friends (well...almost all of them) came up yesterday for a luncheon so I could see them one last time & now they are gone & I wonder when I will see them again. Someday, right?
I just think how nice it must be to have a baby & get to set up a nursery with your husband & have him take time off work to be with you. Saying good-bye is hard enough, but take away my husband & put me through labor & I think I might die. I'm being dramatic, of course, but it feels that way at times. There are lots of people who go through such harder things, but for some reason it's easier for me to think of those women who have nothing but joy in expecting a baby & who get to keep their husbands to themselves. I shouldn't think of those women because it makes me feel bad, it's just hard not to.
I get all these cute clothes for Baby Girl & I have to pack them all up in boxes for the movers. Everything we buy her has to stay in a box until Oklahoma (except her carseat of course). She has no nursery, no special baby room just for herself. She WILL get it...in Oklahoma. She will get it when she is 3-4 weeks old. & I am happy we can give it to her, I am thankful that we have money & family to put together a nursery & to dress her in cute clothes. I just wish she could have it now kind of. It's just stuff, I know.
I think all of this wouldn't matter to me if Hubby could stay with me. If he could stay here, everything would be ok. But my husband is not my substinence, my husband is not my refuge. At least he shouldn't be those things. Jesus Christ should be what gets me through hard times, not my husband. I know. It's so hard. I can't get that truth in my heart. It's in my head that Christ is all things & will take care of me, but in my heart, I need my husband. I don't know how I'm going to make it without crying all the time. I have to say good-bye to everyone alone. So does he. I wish we could say good-bye to our friends & family & then leave for Oklahoma together. Sad, but together. Sad & alone is so much worse.
I have learned that all the theories in the world don't amount to crap in real life. It's a nice theory that being apart from him for only 3 weeks will fly by. Total crap. It's a nice theory that I will miss him so much that saying good-bye to people here won't be hard. Total crap. It's a nice theory that waiting to be settled with your newborn for 3 weeks is not that long. Total crap. It's a nice theory that having family & friends & your own doctor & your own hospital balances out the negative of not being with your husband for the last month of pregnancy & the first 2 weeks of your daughter's life. Total crap. I wonder if we made the right decision. I'm so scared. I think I would trade every "comfortable" aspect in Huntington to be in Oklahoma with my husband. All those things about Oklahoma that seemed so horrible 8 months ago (No visitors at the hospital! Not knowing my OB! A hospital I've never been to! No grandparents in the waiting room! No one oohing & awing over my baby!) don't seem nearly as horrible as being apart from my other half. I know I won't die, but this might be the hardest thing I've ever done.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Up with the sun, as usual :)

Both of the babies are sleeping. (Babies being baby cat Phoenix & baby dog Bella). Actually, I think baby in my belly is also sleeping. For once ;-)

I'm done with work now & it has been ok. It is nice to not have to go, of course, but I get kind of bored. It's funny-the other day there was this thing on TV that said "If you wait until you don't have anything to do, that won't ever happen in this day & age". I looked at Hubby & laughed because we both know that I have to MAKE myself get up & do things. I have nothing to do pretty much all day long. I am told I should appreciate it now because we're gonna have a baby soon & then everything changes.

It is amazing how few people say "everything changes for the good". Once you get pregnant, 90% what you hear about is all the negative things a baby brings. It used to really piss me off, but I've come to realize that the people who do nothing but complain about their children also have nothing nice to say about their spouses either or their job, so I am left with the conclusion that the problem lies with them & not their situation. I am quite content with my life-my husband, my job, my tiny apartment...so I assume I will be content with my daughter too. I'm not saying motherhood will be easy, but I have found very few things in life are easy (except my job, that was pretty easy peasy). I think Baby Girl will be more of a blessing than a drag no matter what anyone says. I ain't scared :)

Well, almost time for the Today Show. I actually have plans after lunch today! I'm excited. Me & my friend Kristin are running around the mall making returns & hanging out. Yay for good friends who will go with you to make your returns :)

Look forward to this warm weekend!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

ba-zillion and ba-zillon details in my head

wow. who would have thought that getting pregnant, moving your husband across the country 3 weeks before you have a baby, & then moving yourself & that baby 2 weeks after she is born would be so stressful? :)

yes, I stay stressed. You know that feeling when you have too much to do in too little time? I have that feeling 24/7. THIS is very unusual for me. I am quite skilled at escaping reality most of the time. Not getting things done is kinda my thing...I just always figured life was worth more than worrying about everything & anything. But, I'm quickly realizing to seize responsibility or my life will be a wreck come April.

My husband leaves town for Oklahoma the end of March. When he leaves, he is taking just about everything we own with him. I will have a TV, a couch, a pot, a pan, the dog, & that's about it. Maybe I'll get to keep the microwave too...we'll have to see about that one. Baby Girl will hopefully be born on April 16th & Hubby will get a 4-day leave April 15-18th. I will stay in Hton for 2 weeks & then I'm off to Oklahoma myself. That's enough to stress anyone out right? Well, add working full-time, figuring out the best travel system, the best high chair, the best baby moniter, etc, spending time with everyone we love in a 300 mile radius, Hubby trying to write a Master's thesis, & having a big fat heavy belly making my back hurt & waking me up with heart burn 3 nights a week or so. OK, I'll stop. :)

But you see my point. I stay stressed. In church this morning there was that song that I love by Matt Redman that came from the book of Job. There is a part that goes "You give & take away, my heart will choose to say 'Blessed be the name of the Lord' ". So I feel like God is about to take all this stuff I love away. Stuff like family, stuff like my awesome amazing Bible study that I could not have stayed true to the Lord without, stuff like our wonderful apartment, & my great job. He gave it all to me & now He's going to take it away. So I have to CHOOSE to continue to praise Him & to say "Blessed be the name of the Lord". I want to. Not sure that I can, but I do want to. Of course, what God takes away I hope He will replace. Like, I am going to have a daughter. A beautiful daughter. Hubby & I are finally financially stable (thank you U.S. Army!). My husband is not being deployed...not yet at least. But for now, he's mine & he is staying with me. I may be leaving people I love, but I will still be loved. That is certainly a blessing.

So God is good in times of plenty & times of want. In times of sunshine & in times of pain. I won't act like I want to go to Oklahoma because I don't. But I do have hope that God will go with me. He will meet my needs & He will provide abundantly as He always has if I let Him. & I AM going to try to let Him :)