Sunday, January 31, 2010

ba-zillion and ba-zillon details in my head

wow. who would have thought that getting pregnant, moving your husband across the country 3 weeks before you have a baby, & then moving yourself & that baby 2 weeks after she is born would be so stressful? :)

yes, I stay stressed. You know that feeling when you have too much to do in too little time? I have that feeling 24/7. THIS is very unusual for me. I am quite skilled at escaping reality most of the time. Not getting things done is kinda my thing...I just always figured life was worth more than worrying about everything & anything. But, I'm quickly realizing to seize responsibility or my life will be a wreck come April.

My husband leaves town for Oklahoma the end of March. When he leaves, he is taking just about everything we own with him. I will have a TV, a couch, a pot, a pan, the dog, & that's about it. Maybe I'll get to keep the microwave too...we'll have to see about that one. Baby Girl will hopefully be born on April 16th & Hubby will get a 4-day leave April 15-18th. I will stay in Hton for 2 weeks & then I'm off to Oklahoma myself. That's enough to stress anyone out right? Well, add working full-time, figuring out the best travel system, the best high chair, the best baby moniter, etc, spending time with everyone we love in a 300 mile radius, Hubby trying to write a Master's thesis, & having a big fat heavy belly making my back hurt & waking me up with heart burn 3 nights a week or so. OK, I'll stop. :)

But you see my point. I stay stressed. In church this morning there was that song that I love by Matt Redman that came from the book of Job. There is a part that goes "You give & take away, my heart will choose to say 'Blessed be the name of the Lord' ". So I feel like God is about to take all this stuff I love away. Stuff like family, stuff like my awesome amazing Bible study that I could not have stayed true to the Lord without, stuff like our wonderful apartment, & my great job. He gave it all to me & now He's going to take it away. So I have to CHOOSE to continue to praise Him & to say "Blessed be the name of the Lord". I want to. Not sure that I can, but I do want to. Of course, what God takes away I hope He will replace. Like, I am going to have a daughter. A beautiful daughter. Hubby & I are finally financially stable (thank you U.S. Army!). My husband is not being deployed...not yet at least. But for now, he's mine & he is staying with me. I may be leaving people I love, but I will still be loved. That is certainly a blessing.

So God is good in times of plenty & times of want. In times of sunshine & in times of pain. I won't act like I want to go to Oklahoma because I don't. But I do have hope that God will go with me. He will meet my needs & He will provide abundantly as He always has if I let Him. & I AM going to try to let Him :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Meg! I love you, really. I dont know always know why God takes things away from us, but I do know that ONE of the many reasons is to give us something better. Sure, we're awesome, but who knows what or who is just around the bend of this amazing and exciting time in your life?! Sorry I missed you tonight, keep writing! :)