Saturday, June 26, 2010

Saturday fun

I love Saturday mornings.  Not because I got to sleep in (because I didn't), not because Hubby isn't working (because he is), & not because we have weekend plans (because we don't).  Nope, I love Saturday mornings because of Saturday morning cartoons!! I LOVE them! I watch Qubo.  My favorite cartoon is "Jane & the Dragon", my second favortie is "Willa's Wild Life", & my third favortie is "3-2-1 Penguins" :)

Even when I was working full-time (which included weekends), every Saturday I had off I made sure I got up early enough to watch my cartoons.  Hubby watches them with me when he can.  They are really good!!

I can't wait until Baby Girl is big enough to watch them with me. I just know it will be a favorite family tradition. Along with Sunday afternoon naps :) I love her age right now (10 weeks).  She is very easy to manage (as long as she is happy!) & she takes regular naps so I still have a lot of time to do things I want to do.  But I do think about when she is older & how much fun we will have playing tea party & coloring & playing in the baby pool.  I will have someone to play with-how fun! I look forward to having conversations with her & teaching her about things she doesn't understand & making cookies with her.  Sounds fun!

I shouldn't say I "can't wait" because I can.  I don't want to wish away her baby stage because it is precious & fleeting.  I want to remember the times when she wakes up & wants to snuggle.  I want to remember when her feet were too little to wear all the cute shoes she has in her closet.  I want to remember having to hold her little head up because she can't hold it up herself.  I even want to remember those special middle of the night feedings when it's just the two of us & it's quiet & intimate.  Even Bella stays in her bed at 4am! :)

I want to remember this:

Thursday, June 24, 2010

True to form

Well, my unproductive self has been staying true to form this week.  Four days of opportunity have only yielded one day of any actual action on  my part.  What is my problem??  Hubby made a to-do list for me (it helps me) so on Monday I was super hyped up to get stuff done.  I paid the bills, made the bed, did the dishes, studied my Bible, & did laundry.  Wow-that was a good day (a REALLY REALLY good day if you are me!).  Then on Tuesday, I made the bed.  Yes-that's all.  Then on Wednesday, I took a walk.  Yes-that's all.  Then today, I have done nothing.  Yes-seriously nothing.

The funny thing is that Baby Girl's room is anally organized.  Her clothes are SUPER organized as in no one better move anything because I have a system & I like it, her blankets stay folded & put away, her socks all match each other, her stuffed animals sit in a nice little row, her books sit in a nice little basket, & if there is ever anything on her floor, I pick it up.  (I know-picking stuff up off the floor-what a concept!) It is like there is a secret part of me that is released when it comes to her.  I definitely think it is a good thing...I just wish it bleed over onto other areas of my life.  Areas like the kitchen & the living room :)

Today, I will vacuum or die. 

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

"Life of Pi" Book Review

ok, weird.  But not bad, really. At first I really didn't like it, but it grew on me.  I think it goes slowly in the beginning & I still fail to see exactly how relevant those details about Pi's life are that take place during the first third of the book.

Let me back up.

The "Life of Pi" is written by Yann Martel & is about a boy/teenager/man named Piscine who goes by Pi for short.  It is about his upbringing, but mostly it's about a shipwreck that leaves him stranded on a lifeboat with a Spotted Hyena, a Zebra, an Orangutan, & a Bengal Tiger.  It is one of those stranded stories about survival.   (Robinson Crusoe by Daniel DeFoe, The Open Boat by Stephen Crane, Cast Away, etc.) 

The use of animals is one of my favorite aspects in this book.   Which may be so obvious to most readers, but when I picked up the book to read it, I didn't know what it was about.  I don't really know why I picked it up, but I think I had heard of it before or something.  So, anyway, the use of animals was really intriging to me.  In the first part of the book, the author talks about "animalus anthropomorphicus" which basically means giving human attributes to animals.  Like, in your mind, you turn a grizzly bear into a fuzzy, huggable creature because you think bears act like humans.   But, really they are bears.  Dogs are dogs, but a lot of people think dogs have the same brain capacity as children.  They really don't.  So what is up with all these animals?  Tiger=alpha dawg. Hyene=crazy.  Zebra=sweet. Orangutan=brave.  Are these attributes of Pi's? 

It is also a coming of age story.  Pi, in a sense, morphs from a scared boy into a man who becomes dominant over the tiger.  That part I understand.  After this, however, they (Pi & the tiger...the only animal who survives in the lifeboat) end up on an island that "eats" anything warm blooded at night.  By eat, I mean fries them alive. Really strange stuff.  Over my head I assume. 

I don't really know.  It was very interesting, but I'm not sure what it's bigger purpose is (I only assume there is a bigger purpose than entertainment), or what the author is trying to say.  I probably wouldn't recommend it, but it was on the best seller's list (whose?  I'm not sure!) so maybe I am missing something.  Every once in awhile I try to venture out of my Young Adult world, but this time I was unsuccessful.  It is amazing to me that I have a degree in English & love books as much as I need oxygen, but still can read a book & be like "what the...?"

Anyway, this is my first book review so sorry it's not stellar.
I don't really know which books to review & which ones not to...but I think I'll stick to easier ones :)
Happy Reading!!

Monday, June 21, 2010

A.W. Tozer thoughts

I just don't think I am ever going to get it.  This elusive "abundant" spiritual life.  I just don't get it.  It's not about a spiritual to-do list.  There is no special formula.  Even if I read my bible, pray, & meditate on scripture, I still may not get it.  Maybe I am just too literal or maybe I rely too heavily on tangible goals, but I don't think I will ever have the abundant life that scripture outlines (Power in the Holy Spirit, praying unceasing, counting it all as loss, intimacy with Christ, etc).  Maybe I am just not dedicated enough to the cause if you know what I mean.  Maybe I only say I want this life, but I dont really mean it or I'm not really willing to make the sacrifices in order to get it.

A. W. Tozer.  There is a man who got it.  In talking about the Power of the Holy Spirit, he says that part of the Spirit's work is to "reveal objects already present & hidden from the soul" & when these objects become aware to a person, he goes on to describe what this effect will have (hope that makes sense!).  He writes, "[Christ] is felt to be a real Person & to be intimately, ravishingly near...Prayer loses it's unmeaning quality & becomes a sweet conversation with Someone actually there.  Love for God & for the children of God takes possession of the soul.  We feel ourselves to be near to heaven & it is now the earth & the world that begin to seem unreal...Then the whole life changes to suit the new reality & the change is permanent".  I mean, come on, what child of God wouldn't want that?   But the thing is wanting it & having it are quite different.  I don't have it.  I don't know how to get it.  I don't think I will ever have it if I'm being honest.  

Going back to what I said in the beginning of this post, the reason I don't know how to get it is because there is nothing tangible I can do to get it.  There is no checklist to ensure my success.  With Christ, everything is about your heart.  So if my heart is defunct, then my life is defunct.  No amount of bible reading will fix my heart, right?  So, is my heart defunct?  I don't understand that because I do know Jesus, His Spirit does reside inside of me so my heart can't be defunct. 

See the circles I run in?  I-yie-yie.  

*Text taken from The Divine Conquest by A.W. Tozer

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Yet another reason why everyone loves Bella

Today Bella made my day.

She was driving me oh-so-crazy this afternoon so I finally went outside with her to play.  Upon entering the back yard she proceeds to do about 15 laps (think she was happy to be playing?).  Then, she pounces on her toy & attempts to taunt me with it.  I have to wonder if she thinks I actually want her dirty, saliva damp rope or she knows I only humor her.  Well, Bella isn't exactly a throw-and-fetch kinda dog.  She is more like a "chase me! chase me!" kinda dog.  And Oklahoma is HOT so needless to say I didn't chase her for very long.

Instead, I decided to water our almost dead lawn.  Dead grass is so not a problem in West Virginia so watering is new to me.  I know there must be some really excellent way to water a lawn, but I basically just point & shoot with the hose.  No, it doesn't get watered evenly & no, it's probably not very effective, but it's all I got.  Anyway, in watering the lawn I discovered that Bella is afraid of the water hose! She runs from it like it is poisonous! I sprayed her a couple of times which really freaked her out.  She is afraid of the water hose, yet she will lap up bacteria laden water & eat cat poop.  What gives? 

Well, while I was still watering, a little white doggy stuck it's head through our wooden fence.  Bella freezes.  Freezes & stares.  I guess the little doggy didn't see us because it just hopped right into our yard.  So I said "Hi doggy" which caused it to run back out of our yard which lit a fire under Bella's butt to try to follow it.  However, Bella is a big dog & will not fit into the opening in our fence so all I could see was a white butt wiggling.  Then I think the little white doggy must have run away because Bella proceeded to do about 10 more laps in our yard.  I guess she was excited about our visitor :) 

It was so funny! I love dogs!!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Wow.  Today was monster un-productive.  I think productivity will be something that I struggle with the rest of my life.  Every day if I don't fight it, I lose to it.  I have a newborn which requires me to be a bit productive, at least in areas concerning her.  As in, I feed her & change her & bathe her & cuddle her.  But when she is napping, I got nothing.  What did I do?  I watched Lost, read blogs, watched Lost, read part of "Graceling", watched Lost, ate lunch...ummm...watched Lost.  Yeah, my life is pathetic. 

I don't work, I only have 1 child who takes naps & I didn't even crack open my bible's the least I could do.  I remember a couple of weeks ago when all Baby Girl did was cry & cry & cry & how I was so closer to the Lord because I was constantly feeling the need to lean on Him & I was praying for Him to make it better at 3AM.  And now today I didn't even open my Bible.  There is so much I need to be seeking Him about- Hubby's placement, making friends in this new town, Baby Girl's sleeping schedule, not to mention praying for others. I just need to be close to Him period. Ay-yie-yie.

So, yeah, productivity is the concept that I have to fight for daily, practically hourly.  I long to be like those people who rise @ 6AM, clean their kitchen, take a walk, & do whatever else those people do.  I rise at the last possible minute, am lucky if I get a shower in, open the door so the dog can go outside & sometimes don't even eat because it's too much work!  Not every day is like that, but every day easily could be if I didn't make a conscious decison for it to be different.

Ahhhh, tommorrow is another day with a clean slate & endless possibilites :)

Friday, June 04, 2010

The Abundant Life

So, I started a new bible study about the Holy Spirit.  I needed to have something to do every day! I'm not so good at "self-study" :) 

Anyway, the author told me to "talk with God today about your life.  Ask Him to give you real and abundant life".  Okay, I can talk to God about that. 

But, I have no idea what "abundant life" looks like in Oklahoma with a newborn, a dog, a cat, & a soldier.  What should I be striving for & if I don't know what to be striving for, how will I get there?  Does abundant life look like serving others or seriously studying God's word?  Or maybe it looks like being a supportive wife?  Or Mommy-extradinaire?  How do I KNOW what abundant life for me looks like? 

I tell God all the time that I want to live out my personal motto since becoming a mommy: "Don't just survive, but thrive".  But again, I don't know what thriving looks like.  Maybe it's not crying every day or laughing more or being organized & keeping my house clean?  Maybe it's having personal hobbies or making friends? 

So, I know there isn't a magical answer, but does anyone have insight on how to know when you have "arrived" at this elusive concept of an abundant life?  Or how to go about getting there?