Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Wow.  Today was monster un-productive.  I think productivity will be something that I struggle with the rest of my life.  Every day if I don't fight it, I lose to it.  I have a newborn which requires me to be a bit productive, at least in areas concerning her.  As in, I feed her & change her & bathe her & cuddle her.  But when she is napping, I got nothing.  What did I do?  I watched Lost, read blogs, watched Lost, read part of "Graceling", watched Lost, ate lunch...ummm...watched Lost.  Yeah, my life is pathetic. 

I don't work, I only have 1 child who takes naps & I didn't even crack open my bible today...it's the least I could do.  I remember a couple of weeks ago when all Baby Girl did was cry & cry & cry & how I was so closer to the Lord because I was constantly feeling the need to lean on Him & I was praying for Him to make it better at 3AM.  And now today I didn't even open my Bible.  There is so much I need to be seeking Him about- Hubby's placement, making friends in this new town, Baby Girl's sleeping schedule, not to mention praying for others. I just need to be close to Him period. Ay-yie-yie.

So, yeah, productivity is the concept that I have to fight for daily, practically hourly.  I long to be like those people who rise @ 6AM, clean their kitchen, take a walk, & do whatever else those people do.  I rise at the last possible minute, am lucky if I get a shower in, open the door so the dog can go outside & sometimes don't even eat because it's too much work!  Not every day is like that, but every day easily could be if I didn't make a conscious decison for it to be different.

Ahhhh, tommorrow is another day with a clean slate & endless possibilites :)

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