Friday, August 15, 2014


It has been so long since I've written a post.  8 months or so.  My baby is now a toddler and my toddler is now a little boy.  My little girl is still *kind of* a little girl.  But, kind of not so much.  My husband said to me tonight, "I get the impression that you don't enjoy Autumn as much as the others".  And I, in true Meg fashion , let him fall asleep and then came out to the family room to cry.  I know it's not rational, but I always feel like I could do so much better by my family.  I always feel like I never do enough or I'm not patient enough or fun enough.  It's a vicious cycle, I know.  I've read those mommy guilt blog posts.  It's true I haven't enjoyed her as much lately.  She has been so cry-y lately and we have such opposite personalities.  So it would seem.  Although, that's not really true.  She is more like her daddy, for sure, but actually all 3 of us have quite a bit of crossover.  Sometimes, I forget she is only little.   She seems so old compared to her siblings, but she's really just little.  

We got our sweet bulldog back from my in-laws.  She's like a fourth child to my husband.  I'm pretty sure Chris has been walking around with a hole in his heart.  I'm glad she's back.  She does fit in nicely.  Eliza is her buddy.  She follows Bella (the dog) around everywhere and hugs her and kisses her.  So sweet.  Autumn is all about our (newish) cat Macy.  Macy showed up on our doorstep in Oklahoma on Thanksgiving and wouldn't leave so we kept her and named her Macy Cranberry (I just love her Thanksgiving name!). 

I am homeschooling Autumn this year.  I don't know what that means, exactly.  She's only preschool age so maybe it's not really considered homeschooling.  We chose not to send her anywhere and I am doing purposeful educational activities with her at home.  

I wish I were more decisive.  I wish I were more analytic (analytical?).  I wish I could grab the future by the horns and tame it into what I want it to be.  I admire those people even though I don't especially get along with them, ha.  I say that, but seriously, all 3 of my best friends are D's (or Lions or North or whatever you want to call it).  Isn't that strange??  All 3 of my best friends were also valedictorian's.  Not me!  Not by a long shot.

It's late and Eliza keeps calling out in her sleep so I think I'll go snuggle her for awhile.  Lucky me :)  (I'm being totally serious by the way!  Snuggling your babies when they're babies is kind of annoying because you have to do it so much, but snuggling them every now and then once they start to grow up is so so so precious)