Monday, May 15, 2006

meg vs. the volcano

it is so amazing how god is so personal with every single human being on the planet. i was reading about this volcano (mount merapi) in indonesia & this woman said "merapi appears angry". i don't know the exact context of her comment nor what she was implying by it, but it made me think of people who see creation as some sort of god or something that they can appease. & of course volcanologists will tell you all the complexities that go into a volocanic eruption-the gas & the heat & the craters or whatever else there is to know. some people would contribute the eruption to no less than the very hand of god. none of us can know why the volcano erupted & none of us can prove our theories, but then there is god. god who knows every single indonesian fleeing from the anger of mount merapi. & what is even more spectacular is that he has a specific plan for every single life. i absolutely cannnot fathom this. i think "i know god". i think "god knows me & loves me so much". of course those thoughts are true, but i tend to put god in this meg-box where he is consumed with pursuing me or blessing me or teaching me, not all those indonesians & not even those people who live down the block from me. god is not just amazing & lovely to me, but to so many people! god is just as close (& defninitely a lot closer in many cases) to thousands or millions of other people & when god says he loves everyone, he means it. he loves people with a raging love & i don't even know they exist. he does SO MUCH outside of what he does in & through me. it is not god who is consumed with my life, but me! god is consumed with mankind, not meg! & yet, he does love me with a raging love. he does pursue me every minute of every day. he does think of me often & rejoice with me & mourn with me & cry with me & laugh with me. god is beyond comprehension, don't ya think?

Monday, May 01, 2006

My Abby

THIS is my sweet Abby. She died Friday night while everyone was sleeping. Mama came downstairs & found the old Abby again-before she got sick, before she couldn't breathe well, before she couldn't walk. She looked so peaceful that it had to be death. Abby was such a SWEET creature. She is like one of those people who love everyone they meet which makes you love them but then you realize that although they love everyone, they love you more & it makes you feel so blessed. I know some of y'all think that I am a hopeless sap who gets too attached to inferior creatures...but really, shame on you for not loving animals. Abby did know how to love. Whatever you think love is-whether it's words or gifts or sex or marriage or sacrifice, whatever LOVE is, Abby possesed it. I wish you all could have met her. Buzzie buried her under our willow tree. I know that the things we love don't last forever but I do wish I could have told her good-bye. I wish I could have laid down beside her one last time on our dirty wood floor & just hugged her. She was by no means a smart girl or a beautiful girl, but she was mine & I miss her.