Sunday, January 31, 2010

ba-zillion and ba-zillon details in my head

wow. who would have thought that getting pregnant, moving your husband across the country 3 weeks before you have a baby, & then moving yourself & that baby 2 weeks after she is born would be so stressful? :)

yes, I stay stressed. You know that feeling when you have too much to do in too little time? I have that feeling 24/7. THIS is very unusual for me. I am quite skilled at escaping reality most of the time. Not getting things done is kinda my thing...I just always figured life was worth more than worrying about everything & anything. But, I'm quickly realizing to seize responsibility or my life will be a wreck come April.

My husband leaves town for Oklahoma the end of March. When he leaves, he is taking just about everything we own with him. I will have a TV, a couch, a pot, a pan, the dog, & that's about it. Maybe I'll get to keep the microwave too...we'll have to see about that one. Baby Girl will hopefully be born on April 16th & Hubby will get a 4-day leave April 15-18th. I will stay in Hton for 2 weeks & then I'm off to Oklahoma myself. That's enough to stress anyone out right? Well, add working full-time, figuring out the best travel system, the best high chair, the best baby moniter, etc, spending time with everyone we love in a 300 mile radius, Hubby trying to write a Master's thesis, & having a big fat heavy belly making my back hurt & waking me up with heart burn 3 nights a week or so. OK, I'll stop. :)

But you see my point. I stay stressed. In church this morning there was that song that I love by Matt Redman that came from the book of Job. There is a part that goes "You give & take away, my heart will choose to say 'Blessed be the name of the Lord' ". So I feel like God is about to take all this stuff I love away. Stuff like family, stuff like my awesome amazing Bible study that I could not have stayed true to the Lord without, stuff like our wonderful apartment, & my great job. He gave it all to me & now He's going to take it away. So I have to CHOOSE to continue to praise Him & to say "Blessed be the name of the Lord". I want to. Not sure that I can, but I do want to. Of course, what God takes away I hope He will replace. Like, I am going to have a daughter. A beautiful daughter. Hubby & I are finally financially stable (thank you U.S. Army!). My husband is not being deployed...not yet at least. But for now, he's mine & he is staying with me. I may be leaving people I love, but I will still be loved. That is certainly a blessing.

So God is good in times of plenty & times of want. In times of sunshine & in times of pain. I won't act like I want to go to Oklahoma because I don't. But I do have hope that God will go with me. He will meet my needs & He will provide abundantly as He always has if I let Him. & I AM going to try to let Him :)