Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Odds & Ends

So sorry it's been so long since I last posted.  Our Internet was off for almost 4 weeks so at least I have an excuse!

I have been feeling down today.   We miscarried our baby last week so I'm sure it has something to do with that.  I am still lonely too.  I would think I would get used to the solitude, but I haven't.  I have Internet now which means I'm back on Facebook and getting emails and we even have a phone that calls America for free, but that just doesn't cut it.  Talking to someone on the phone or even Skyping with someone is not the same thing as having people over for dinner or going to grab a Starbucks.  I miss person to person interaction.  We have also not found a church :(  There aren't a lot of English speaking options over here obviously and the ones we have visited have been alright, but we miss our church back home.  The funny thing is when we attended our church back home we weren't even that involved.  Plus, Baby Girl is dealing with separation anxiety and while I don't mind letting her cry a bit, I feel bad for the nursery workers having to deal with her.  She won't even play on the floor in the nursery...someone has to hold her the entire church service so it makes me not even want to take her.  It's not her fault.  Her entire life has been spent in temporary places where her mommy has no friends and therefore no one to watch her so she is with me 24/7.  I would love to leave her with someone so me and Hubby can go out to eat, but that just isn't an option.  So of course she is attached to me, but it's not her fault.  It's not really my fault either.  6 months in Oklahoma with a newborn and 3 months in Germany with an infant doesn't exactly lend itself to me being a social butterfly.

Plus, the one person who is here for me (Hubby) is mad at me right now so I feel extra alone.  He's at work anyway.  Don't know when I'll see him again. 

I have to mention that I have made one friend here.  And she has really been wonderful.  When I have had to do things that were not baby friendly, she has always watched Baby Girl for me willlingly and happily.  Last week when we found out about the baby she brought us two separate meals and took Baby Girl while we went to the hospital.  I am very grateful for her.  And I hear from my mom that another friend (whom I haven't met yet...well, not in person, but we have been emailing) will be here on Friday.  She also has a daughter so I'm excited to meet them and maybe have some playdates!  Baby playdates sound like fun to me :)  I'm such a mom...and I love it :)

Well, that's about as much of an update as I can give you.  I promise I won't let 4 weeks go by again without posting!

1 comment:

Linda said...

It's early a.m. - getting ready to go to work, but wanted to catch up with you on the internet. Wish I could be there to help you out! We both have waves of loneliness, but someday it will be better. Spring and summer help me a lot! Hang in there...better days are coming for both of us I hope...just kiss sweet Autumn for me!and give your great husband a hug too! LOVE!!!