Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Besties are the BEST!!

I guess that's why they're called best friends, huh?  :)

So, as you know I was feeling blue like a blue tick hound 2 days ago.  Weeeeeell, sit back and listen to how awesome God is.  (I know you aren't supposed to end a sentence with the word "is", but what word should I put after "is"?  I can't think of one). 

The very day I wrote my last sad post, I skyped with Red Bestie.  I wasn't even going to mention my feelings to her.  Not because I am ashamed or don't trust her, but because we were talking about books and that is like oxygen to me so I was just basking in my O2 overdose.  But she asked, so I spilled everything I wrote on my blog.  One point she made that made me feel a lot better was this (I am going to attempt to paraphrase her without butchering what she said.  Hope it works): God doesn't prepare us now for what we will experience in the future.  So if in (roughly) 4 months from now you aren't pregnant, you will be in a place to accept that news that you aren't in now (nor do I have to be there now because hello, he's not leaving tomorrow).  It was like, eye opening for me.  I don't have to be ok with not being pregnant now because I still have several months where I might actually get pregnant.  And, if God doesn't want me to be pregnant before Hubby leaves, then He will prepare me for that, but He still has 4 months to do so.  Wow. 

Then, I got an email from Teacher Bestie (who isn't actually a teacher, but she reminds me of a teacher and she would make a really great one).  I won't try to paraphrase and butcher her words, I will just cut a snippet from her email. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent :)  Here it is:  The Lord knows how badly you want another baby, he knows your body, and he knows what you need. All you can do is rest in him and trust his timing. He has had such good plans for you that you never would have dreamed up. Imagine when you first set foot on that plane to go to had no idea you were hanging out with your future husband... I remember you saying things like you didn't deserve a Godly man, [Hubby] specifically and how long you had been single since becomming a Christian, but God knew exactly how long you needed to wait for your man and look what a good one he gave you! Now he knows exactly how long you need to wait for a second child and he will bless you when you are ready. He also knows when it is best for [Hubby] to have another child and when Miss baby girl is ready to be a big sis. So if the Lord withholds, which of course I am praying that he won't, but if he does, just remember it must be best for [Hubby], baby girl and you.
Yet, another lightbulb moment.  I had just assumed that it was best for Baby Girl and said sibling to be as close in age as possible.  I had just assumed what was best for me was best for my husband and daughter.  As if! I never even thought to look at this issue from that angle.  Of course I want what's best for them more than what's best for me.  I would sacrifice anything to make their lives better!  If it is best for them to wait, then I will wait happily.   

And then, my dad emailed me an article.  I can't exactly call my dad a "bestie" because it just sounds weird, but he is an important part of my life.  The article was about healing and faith and it was really excellent.  I can't exactly paste the whole thing here but I will give you the highlights.
-Don't fight against this pain that God has allowed into your life
-Ask God to make His desires your desires
-Discover the benefits of your suffering (which it talked about...pretty cool idea, huh?)
-There's no limit to the amount of glory you can bring to God by choosing to trust Him in the middle of your pain
It had a lot more to say than that, but it had a lot of good things to think about regarding the benefits of suffering and also how to draw close to God even in pain.

So, just so you know, I am feeling a lot better.  I am actually doing well unless I see someone pregnant or hear about someone having a baby on Facebook or something.  It's not their fault and I am so happy people get to experience what I experienced with Baby Girl, but it still makes me sad when someone talks about their due date or I see newborn pictures.  Funnily enough, Red Bestie is exceptionally pregnant right now and it didn't bother me at all to see her.  I am just so HAPPY for her I can't waste time being sad for myself! Such are the benefits of being best friends I suppose :)


Karole said...

Love being your bestie!

michelle said...

Your post totally made me cry (it could have something to do with pregnancy hormones but nonetheless!) I love you girl

Anonymous said...

I'm happy happy you had a better day. God is so very cool like that. To bring all those people in right on cue ;)