My Abby

THIS is my sweet Abby. She died Friday night while everyone was sleeping. Mama came downstairs & found the old Abby again-before she got sick, before she couldn't breathe well, before she couldn't walk. She looked so peaceful that it had to be death. Abby was such a SWEET creature. She is like one of those people who love everyone they meet which makes you love them but then you realize that although they love everyone, they love you more & it makes you feel so blessed. I know some of y'all think that I am a hopeless sap who gets too attached to inferior creatures...but really, shame on you for not loving animals. Abby did know how to love. Whatever you think love is-whether it's words or gifts or sex or marriage or sacrifice, whatever LOVE is, Abby possesed it. I wish you all could have met her. Buzzie buried her under our willow tree. I know that the things we love don't last forever but I do wish I could have told her good-bye. I wish I could have laid down beside her one last time on our dirty wood floor & just hugged her. She was by no means a smart girl or a beautiful girl, but she was mine & I miss her.

pictures

Meg, Adriana, Ivana, Lisa, Jana, Morgan
(On bottom: Janka & Bethany)

















Gabi & Stace



Milking a cow in Salzburg with Courtney

















Veronika & Dara with mom & dad :-)




































May I present...Princess Andrea




















Silly, silly girls



In beautiful Spain with beautiful Amber



sorry Dara!
I couldn't resist ;-)

MODG-PODG

recent thoughts, journal entries, whatnot...

weird weird night. ok, not so weird as something else, but not sure what...i hold my heart in my balled up fist & then set it down with my keys... there will always be something luring my heart into pain...sometimes i love my life. i love candles. i love the way they flicker & shine. i love coffee first thing in the morning. i love cats. i know it is so not cool to love cats, but i love cats. & i think people singing to god is the most beautiful sound ever. i love calendars in january when the year is brand new & anything could happen. i love new books & i love old books. i love the way it feels to hold a pen & write out your soul. i love kind people. i love unselfishness. & i love yellow flowers...why do i write? i write because what is inside threatens to take over. i write because i do not understand nor comprehend what goes on inside my heart...feel acutely bad. it's one of those bads where it's in your face, every corner you turn, every word you say. it's a heavy covering on your heart or your mind & it wont go away...i want your intimacy. i will pound on the doors of heaven to get it & i will not give up until i do...what is it that causes lonliness? i believe it might be separation from god. lack of jesus in my very soul where my heart is most alive...i hate my flesh & my sin. i breed it & it swells & seeps out of my pores & then i wipe it on people & then we are both stained with my sin...my love, think of me & remember what we are... thank you jesus for making me beautiful to the one who matters...lord, you are something else entirely...i am eternally intertwined with my maker & i am eternally his.

oh, rain!

yes, it's raining in my home. it's raining where i work & it's raining where i play. košice-the city of eternal snow & now eternal rain. i actually love the rain most of the time, but maybe i am getting a little tiny bit tired of it. the sun would be most welcomed by most creatures. it was sunny for a moment, but then came the rain. there are worms on the street (ew) & ants in the bathroom (they are actually kind of cute).

rain reflections:
oh, sweet spring rain, bringing life to the nature
landing on leaves & everything else there ever was
making my curls unable to control themselves &
making my teammates a little ornary ;-)
but, rain, you are good
what would life be without rain??
you bring life
you bring restoration
you make dry things not dry
& dead things not dead
i cannot help myself-i love you rain!
i will always be your biggest fan
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Queen...for a day

i know you are so excited to find out about how the rest of my bowling extravaganza went, so here goes. on the way to my second bowling engagement, i got some pointers from my bowling friends, jeremy & karole, the main point being "it's all in your head". so we got to the bowling alley & i strapped on my bowling shoes & actually bowled a 166!! definitely the best score of all time for me. i have proof-in this picture i am 'she-ra'. (chris h. is 'darth vadar', joe is 'wild bill', & brooks is 'mystique'). if you will notice frames 2, 3, & 4 you will observe that i have 3 strikes in a row which i found out is called a turkey. lovin' it.
so i thought i was the stuff for an entire day. then i went bowling on saturday to celebrate my friend marty's 30th birthday where i discovered that i was awful again!! i think i scored a 50 or something.
lucky for me, i truly do go for the nachos & shoes, so i have good memories of all my bowling affairs :-)


the true enjoyment of bowling