you know school is really bad when...

when you go to your old blog that you haven't written on for a year & start writing.

i am trying to compose an annotated bibliography for one class and a topic proposal for another & i have about one hour till i have to leave the library.
so why am i blogging?
confident? not so much...
foolish? getting closer...
apathetic? home run.

i'm tired, this is hard, and i dont like thinking.

i have been considering about picking this blog back up anyway. i know very few people read it, but it's kinda fun to write about life.
not that i have much to update anyone one.
i'm married now & that's cool. my cat is on a diet (i hate to say good-bye to that perfect round belly of his, but health is more important than vanity so i hear). yeah, that's about it.

happy november

wow! i remember how to type

forgetting how to type was an awful experience. truly sorry for the delay in postings, but i couldn't expect to dictate my blog to a transcriptionist, could i?!? but now that my typing memory has been restored, all is well.



i guess i could do a top 5 of my events in my life lately since i happen to love top anything lists. i've also been into rating things. i give my hair today a 1 & my pajamas a 9.



5.) Being a oncology unit clerk. i was just thinking recently that since i like it so much, what's the point in going back to get my masters in english? it sounds like i'm kidding, but i'm not! i love being a secretary! gosh, i'm a dork.



4.) Knowing that I still miss Slovakia so much some days it hurts. It's sounds like a not-so-fun one & it isn't so fun, but at least I know I haven't cut that part of heart out or moved on. I still get so jealous of people who get to go back...A.K.A. people with more money than me! (well, that's just about everyone...KIDDING! :)

3.) ummm, my hair is getting really long which means soon I'll be able to chop it for 'Locks For Love'.

2.) Getting engaged on 9/13/07 rocked the house! it was great & the red hat ladies even bought our dinner.

1.) The number one event in my life as of late would have to be since i'm gettting married soon, then soon there will be no more planning a wedding! jeejj! i can't wait to not have to plan a wedding EVER AGAIN!

wow, that was great. really invigorating. i'm going to try to stay more up to date on my blogging, but we'll see. i hear old married ladies don't have all that much free time. :( sad, i love free time. my favorite subject.

I love my pets!

AWWWWW!!!

This would be the massiveness that is my baby boy Phoenix

Sweet Molly!

These are the extreme conditions that Lotus is willing to undertake in order to eat the plant.

Can we say priss? I don't care! I LOVE him

Such a pretty girl


Randy! Look at that tongue

Just chillin

Are you a spiritual narcissist or just a plain nut?

haha! what a funny thing to say!
my inspiration is solely from dr. larry crabb & j.i. packer :)

what they mean is that a vast amount of people in the modern church concern themselves more with becoming godly than with God Himself!! can you even imagine? it sounds ridiculous, but we all do it at times, don't we? i start freaking out if i go too many days without a quiet time, but if i examine it closely my freaking out stems out of the knowledge that without quiet times, I am headed down the road to despair. not so much concerned with the fact that i'm not encountering GOD. j. i. packer says, "while my fellow believers are constantly seeking to advance themselves in godliness, they show little direct interest in god himself...there is someting narcissistic and, to tell the truth, nutty in being more concerned about godliness than about god". larry crabb goes on to explain that we have turned god into "the helpful god of useful principles" & we have turned ourselves into "understandable strugglers who deserve to be understood and helped".

in actuality, God is a holy god of passionate wrath & we are arrogant people who deserve eternal misery. but we dont like that, do we? no, we like for people to overlook our sin because of the suffering we have to face. we want to be sympathized with for our negative upbringings & we want a hug, not a scolding. we can't live like this! the truth is, we do get a hug when we turn to jesus, but expecting a hug is what dietrich bonhoeffer calls CHEAP GRACE.

i think i might be a spiritual narcissist. there is a verse in colossians (1:18) that says, "He is also head of the body, the church..." & I was thinking about it & it hit me that Jesus Christ is an active member of my church! i know it sounds so dumb, but i had made church a place for ME to grow, for ME to worship, for ME to fellowship. Narcissistic!!!!! holy cow, i'm tired.

if you are interested in these ideas, go read shattered dreams by larry crabb or borrow it from me. i didn't agree with everything he said, but it definitely made me think :)

Now, Tell Me, Child

Now, tell me, child, why must we rejoice in our sufferings?
Tell me why must we find JOY in our PAIN?
Tell me why did Christ have to die for me to experience shattered dreams?
Tell me why I must glorify God when my soul is weeping?
Tell me, child do all experience such sorrow?
Now, tell me, child why must I watch innocents die?
Tell me why can't I find the peace that passes understanding?
Tell me will I feel this HELPLESS forever?
Tell me where does my strength lie?
Tell me, child, where is my freedom?