A spiritual change that is. I don't know how many times I have thought "Something needs to change". I think it often because it is true. I am living my life with minimal contact with my Heavenly Father and minimal thought about it. No, that's not true. I think "something needs to change" all the time, but what? I don't know. Being in Germany was very, very hard for me. It zapped me spiritually. I got to a point where I didn't even think about God most of the time. I was depressed, lonely, and miserable. Not an excuse, of course, just the way things were. I firmly believe your relationship with God should never be defined by your circumstances, but believing that and living that belief out are vastly different. At least for me.
So, here I am. Back in America, which is wonderful. Call me crazy, but I am already feeling closer to God. Part of that is because he took away my rock (and sometimes if I'm being honest my "idol"). Of course I mean my husband. Looking back over this past month without him, I can see how I definitely depended on him too much. Depended on him way more than God. I relied on my husband to cheer me up, to motivate me to clean, to hold me accountable, to make me feel confident, to make me feel pretty, and to fix all my problems. So, by taking him away, God has forced me to turn to Him in my hard moments...a thing I wouldn't have done if my husband was still around.
Part of me feeling closer to God is that I went to church last week and worshipped God. Worshipping through music in a communal setting is like breathing air to me. And I went without that for 7 months. We did go to church sometimes in Germany, but the music wasn't what spoke to my soul. No judgment here, just the way things were. People meet God through all kinds of avenues, and the biggest one for me is the worship I cut my Christian teeth on which as far as I can tell, Germany doesn't offer. I know it sounds funny to say "Germany" like I mean the entire country, but what I really mean is the American churches we visited. I'll of course have to deal with that again when we go back, but I'll deal with that a year from now. Let's not borrow problems meant for tomorrow, ok? :)
Sorry to jump around a bit, but to go back to the topic at hand. It's time for a change. I want to get right with God. No, I don't know how exactly to do that. I am committing to pray every day for my husband and I think that will help me connect with God since the only time I pray now is when someone specifically asks me to. So getting in the habit to pray daily will help, right? I am hoping that although I am praying for my husband, my prayer life will expand from that and it will be more intimate with God like it used to be.
Another thing I am hopefully committing to is to join a Christian Women's Bible Study. I say hopefully because I hope I can find one! I had a wonderful women's bible study before we moved across the ocean and it held me accountable for a lot. But, you know, 7 months without one kind of drug me down. So if I can find one, I will be joining it!
I also want to have some kind of regular time spent with God. I'm not foolish enough to think it will be daily, but I am hoping several times a week. This is going to take self-discipline and I'm quite fearful I can't do it, but I want to give it my best shot. It is hard for me even to admit that because back in college and after that for a couple of years I used to spend a minimum of an hour with God evey day reading and praying and even singing. How did I get so far away from that? Life is harder than it looks! :)
So feel free to ask me how I'm doing because as you can see, I'm quite the open book :)
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
I'll Tell You a Secret
I love the Disney Channel. Definitely my favorite cable station. As a matter of fact, I am watching it right now because Baby Girl is sleeping and mom and dad are at church. Actually, I pretty much watch it whenever I am alone and don't feel like reading.
Don't tell anyone-it's kinda embarassing :)
Don't tell anyone-it's kinda embarassing :)
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Toddler Summary-15 months
I'm not organized/disciplined enough to do this regularly, but I thought that even randomly done will be a good reference for the future!
Eating
Baby Girl is a pretty good eater. She will try new things and I think eats a decent amount. I think she ate a little more when she was younger, but I heard that after the age of 1, babies growth rates slow down so they don't need as much "fuel" so I'm not too worried. She LOVES fruit! Fruit for breakfast, fruit for lunch, fruit for dinner. She also loves bread. Those are the two things that I can always give her if she is feeling picky. For breakfast, she eats one packet of instant oatmeal plus fruit and I share my cereal with her too. For lunch, she eats some kind of veggie (peas, corn, sweet potato, green beans), some kind of fruit, and some carb (puffs, Ritz whole wheat crackers). On days I'm worn out, I feed her a Lunchable :) For dinner, she eats whatever we eat-normally some kind of rice and fruit. She still won't eat meat unless it is ground up (chicken nugget or those vienna sausage thingies for babies). Dinner is her smallest meal. During the day she also snacks on puffs or cranberries or animal crackers. She is drinking a little bit more water (a little bit). Her milk intake has seriously gone down this past week which worries me. We have a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks so I'll ask her about it then.
Sleeping
This poor girl has been through so much this past month it is really hard to tell what her sleeping patterns are. She goes to bed at 7:30 and used to sleep until 8, but this past week she has been waking up at 6:15! I tried keeping her up an extra half hour tonight and it was awful! The monster is released when you try to deprive that girl of sleep. Seriously, every time I try to cut her sleep I regret it. She is still taking 2 naps a day. I wish I could cut one out so she would sleep more at night, but I'm scared!!
Teething
Yes, she sure is teething! She is cutting her bottom 1st molars and is definitely struggling. She cut her top 1st molars in Germany with very little disruption, but these bottom ones are giving her a time! I am blaming the not drinking milk and not sleeping at night on teething. After all, they both started happening about a week ago. Coincidence? I think not.
Playtime
She's a stud. Plays by herself pretty well, but I don't actually leave the room. I can read or check my email while she talks to her stuffed animals or plays with a toy. A skill I would really like to teach her is to play alone with me in another room, but at my parent's house we dont have a good set up to do that. I guess if I was serious about doing that I could completely baby proof her nursery. We'll see.
Reading
She loves her books which is so wonderful! We read every day. She is not so good at sitting through an entire book unless she is really tired (she is a major wiggle worm after all). She will bring me a book, climb up in my lap, and read about 3 or 4 pages, and then want down. Repeat this process over and over again and you can see what we do a lot. A lot :) She will also pull all her books off of the bookshelf and flip through them by herself. She likes to hear the books her daddy recorded, but again, not for very long. When she hears his voice, she grins up at me and acts like she will listen to the entire book, but no, she won't.
Schedule (in an ideal world that is)
8:00-Wake up & snuggle
8:30-Breakfast
9:00-Reading Time
9:30-Playtime with Mommy
10:00-Milk plus snack
10:30-take a walk or have free time
11:00-Nap
13:00-Lunch
13:30-Sing our daily songs and make music (this week we played with bells)
14:00-Outside time
14:30-Milk plus snack
15:00-Free time/bath every other day
16:00-Nap
17:00-offer milk or juice
17:30-play with her grandpa while I cook dinner
18:30-Dinner
19:00-Milk
19:30-Bed
Eating
Baby Girl is a pretty good eater. She will try new things and I think eats a decent amount. I think she ate a little more when she was younger, but I heard that after the age of 1, babies growth rates slow down so they don't need as much "fuel" so I'm not too worried. She LOVES fruit! Fruit for breakfast, fruit for lunch, fruit for dinner. She also loves bread. Those are the two things that I can always give her if she is feeling picky. For breakfast, she eats one packet of instant oatmeal plus fruit and I share my cereal with her too. For lunch, she eats some kind of veggie (peas, corn, sweet potato, green beans), some kind of fruit, and some carb (puffs, Ritz whole wheat crackers). On days I'm worn out, I feed her a Lunchable :) For dinner, she eats whatever we eat-normally some kind of rice and fruit. She still won't eat meat unless it is ground up (chicken nugget or those vienna sausage thingies for babies). Dinner is her smallest meal. During the day she also snacks on puffs or cranberries or animal crackers. She is drinking a little bit more water (a little bit). Her milk intake has seriously gone down this past week which worries me. We have a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks so I'll ask her about it then.
Sleeping
This poor girl has been through so much this past month it is really hard to tell what her sleeping patterns are. She goes to bed at 7:30 and used to sleep until 8, but this past week she has been waking up at 6:15! I tried keeping her up an extra half hour tonight and it was awful! The monster is released when you try to deprive that girl of sleep. Seriously, every time I try to cut her sleep I regret it. She is still taking 2 naps a day. I wish I could cut one out so she would sleep more at night, but I'm scared!!
Teething
Yes, she sure is teething! She is cutting her bottom 1st molars and is definitely struggling. She cut her top 1st molars in Germany with very little disruption, but these bottom ones are giving her a time! I am blaming the not drinking milk and not sleeping at night on teething. After all, they both started happening about a week ago. Coincidence? I think not.
Playtime
She's a stud. Plays by herself pretty well, but I don't actually leave the room. I can read or check my email while she talks to her stuffed animals or plays with a toy. A skill I would really like to teach her is to play alone with me in another room, but at my parent's house we dont have a good set up to do that. I guess if I was serious about doing that I could completely baby proof her nursery. We'll see.
Reading
She loves her books which is so wonderful! We read every day. She is not so good at sitting through an entire book unless she is really tired (she is a major wiggle worm after all). She will bring me a book, climb up in my lap, and read about 3 or 4 pages, and then want down. Repeat this process over and over again and you can see what we do a lot. A lot :) She will also pull all her books off of the bookshelf and flip through them by herself. She likes to hear the books her daddy recorded, but again, not for very long. When she hears his voice, she grins up at me and acts like she will listen to the entire book, but no, she won't.
Schedule (in an ideal world that is)
8:00-Wake up & snuggle
8:30-Breakfast
9:00-Reading Time
9:30-Playtime with Mommy
10:00-Milk plus snack
10:30-take a walk or have free time
11:00-Nap
13:00-Lunch
13:30-Sing our daily songs and make music (this week we played with bells)
14:00-Outside time
14:30-Milk plus snack
15:00-Free time/bath every other day
16:00-Nap
17:00-offer milk or juice
17:30-play with her grandpa while I cook dinner
18:30-Dinner
19:00-Milk
19:30-Bed
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The Loooooong Trip Over-Part Two
See Part One here
Ok, to finish off the trip...
After United guy ditches us, we go to the Customer Service desk which turned out to be zero help! "Sorry, United is not answering the phone, there is nothing I can do". SO we decide to check into a hotel and come back in the morning. I mean, what else can we do?
18:30-Go see hotel guy at airport who is very friendly and helpful. Hooks us up with a Holiday Inn Express. Gives us directions and a pamphlet.
19:00-Off to find hotel! I decide to just do exactly what the hotel guy says direction-wise...which get us lost. Then I decide to actually look at the pamphlet and see that hotel guy left out one piece of information in his directions. So we back track, fix the mistake and arrive at the hotel.
19:30-We arrive at a 4-star Holiday Inn and what we booked was the 3-star Holiday Inn Express! YES, the hotel guy gave us the WRONG directions and the WRONG pamphlet. Holy cow. We try to just stay there except when you book through the airport they charge you 8 Euros and that is non-refundable plus we had already paid 33% of the other hotel (yes, also non-refundable). Can we PLEASE arrive in America and never ever leave?
20:00-So, back to the airport and back to the hotel guy to get correct directions. Which we do.
20:45-Finally, arrive at the correct 3-star hotel. Eat expensive frozen pizza and drink overcharged cola. Crash.
Saturday:
7:00-Get up, shower, eat
8:30-Head to airport.
9:30-Arrive at airport, wait in line, find out that we can come back to try to catch a plane via stand-by, but since we don't have our stuff, it's going to be hard to go back to the hotel and get our stuff and still make the plane. But we sure are going to try! We have to be back by 11:25 at the latest.
10:15-Back at hotel. Rush around, pack, blah, blah, blah. We went ahead and checked out because we had booked two nights in case they were full, but were very optimistic that we would catch a flight. Guess what? When you book through the airport, you can't check out early! Well, you can, but you have to pay for every night you requested. So we got to pay for a night in a hotel we didn't use!! Oh, Europe, your customer service skills are wearing me out.
11:15-Arrive at airport! We made it! Yay!!!
12:25-Sitting on a plane, sitting on a plane (just sing that phrase in your head over and over and you can imagine how happy we were)
8 laters later with a time change, we arrive at the DC airport. It's like 13:30 or something local time. Our next flight was booked for 22:30, but turns out there is a flight that leaves from DC to WV (our destination) at 15:00 or something, but guess what? Because we were assigned the 22:30 flight, we cant switch! America, you disappoint me.
Anyway, we killed 8 hours on a plane with a toddler, then 8 hours in an airport with a toddler, then a short 1 hour flight and then fianlly arrived in WV to visit Hubby's family. We survived and she actually did quite awesome considering what we put her through. Kids are so amazing!
All in all, it sucked, but it was just a trip and I've certainly dealt with worse! But, I'll tell you one thing, I aint flying United again unless I have to!
Ok, to finish off the trip...
After United guy ditches us, we go to the Customer Service desk which turned out to be zero help! "Sorry, United is not answering the phone, there is nothing I can do". SO we decide to check into a hotel and come back in the morning. I mean, what else can we do?
18:30-Go see hotel guy at airport who is very friendly and helpful. Hooks us up with a Holiday Inn Express. Gives us directions and a pamphlet.
19:00-Off to find hotel! I decide to just do exactly what the hotel guy says direction-wise...which get us lost. Then I decide to actually look at the pamphlet and see that hotel guy left out one piece of information in his directions. So we back track, fix the mistake and arrive at the hotel.
19:30-We arrive at a 4-star Holiday Inn and what we booked was the 3-star Holiday Inn Express! YES, the hotel guy gave us the WRONG directions and the WRONG pamphlet. Holy cow. We try to just stay there except when you book through the airport they charge you 8 Euros and that is non-refundable plus we had already paid 33% of the other hotel (yes, also non-refundable). Can we PLEASE arrive in America and never ever leave?
20:00-So, back to the airport and back to the hotel guy to get correct directions. Which we do.
20:45-Finally, arrive at the correct 3-star hotel. Eat expensive frozen pizza and drink overcharged cola. Crash.
Saturday:
7:00-Get up, shower, eat
8:30-Head to airport.
9:30-Arrive at airport, wait in line, find out that we can come back to try to catch a plane via stand-by, but since we don't have our stuff, it's going to be hard to go back to the hotel and get our stuff and still make the plane. But we sure are going to try! We have to be back by 11:25 at the latest.
10:15-Back at hotel. Rush around, pack, blah, blah, blah. We went ahead and checked out because we had booked two nights in case they were full, but were very optimistic that we would catch a flight. Guess what? When you book through the airport, you can't check out early! Well, you can, but you have to pay for every night you requested. So we got to pay for a night in a hotel we didn't use!! Oh, Europe, your customer service skills are wearing me out.
11:15-Arrive at airport! We made it! Yay!!!
12:25-Sitting on a plane, sitting on a plane (just sing that phrase in your head over and over and you can imagine how happy we were)
8 laters later with a time change, we arrive at the DC airport. It's like 13:30 or something local time. Our next flight was booked for 22:30, but turns out there is a flight that leaves from DC to WV (our destination) at 15:00 or something, but guess what? Because we were assigned the 22:30 flight, we cant switch! America, you disappoint me.
Anyway, we killed 8 hours on a plane with a toddler, then 8 hours in an airport with a toddler, then a short 1 hour flight and then fianlly arrived in WV to visit Hubby's family. We survived and she actually did quite awesome considering what we put her through. Kids are so amazing!
All in all, it sucked, but it was just a trip and I've certainly dealt with worse! But, I'll tell you one thing, I aint flying United again unless I have to!
Friday, July 22, 2011
The Loooooong Trip Over-Part One
Well. You know that saying "right across the pond"? I used to say that. Once you have had not one, but two not awesome experiences "across the pond", you realize that a 3,000 mile ocean is no pond. I am only halfway joking as I know there are more serious issues in life than pleasant journeys :)
But, for real yo. Check out our craaaazy 48 hour journey.
Friday:
9(am)-ish: Get on train with a.) baby b.) stroller + carseat c.) 2 checked bags d.) 3 carry-ons
While on train, rearrange bags with Hubby. Try to find the "best" way to carry all that crap.
9:15-ish: We have appoximately 2 mins to change trains...with a baby and all our crap
10:30-ish (ok, I am going to quit writing "ish". Just know that I have no exact times!): Realize we are a carry-on short! Which carry-on? Why, the one with our diapers, our social security cards, our passports, our birth certificates, and our plane tickets. Oh yeah, we are awesome. And freaked out. And now very, very sick to our stomachs. Tell attendant who doesn't speak English. Tell attendant via pantomime. Attendant responds "Tell them in Nuremburg" and leaves us. Sad face.
12:30: Arrive in Nuremburg. Go to the office where you go when you are screwed. Guess what? Attendant doesn't speak English! Ok, to be fair, he spoke a little. Enough to realize we are totally freaking out and need HELP. Sit around entertaining poopy pants baby (diapers are in the lost bag, remember? And we are in a German train station so noooo diaper stores!) while Hubs and attendant try to fix our situation.
13:15-Attendant: "They did not find your bag". Begin to hyperventilate. (Not really).
13:17-Ring, Ring! Attendant" Oh wait, they did find your bag". Breathe again, just breathe. This is what we have to do: rent a car, get a German road map, find a rinky dink town we have never heard of with no GPS, go get our bag, drive directly to Frankfurt to attempt to catch our 6pm overnight flight. We go ask about a car. Does the train station have one available? Noooo. However, the airport does and all we have to do is catch the subway, take a 15-min ride, and voila! We can have a car. Go to ticket machine to buy tickets. Insert 20 Euros. Machine only takes 5 or 10 Euro bills. Go to McDonalds to break our large bill. Scarf down burger. Feed baby french fries. Buy tickets and get on Subway.
14:00-Get car.
15:00-Arrive at rinky dink town and drive around for a looong time trying to find the train station. Get bag. Feed baby real food and change poopy pants!
15:30-Give up on catching flight. Decide to drive to Frankfurt in the hopes of getting on a later flight. Call United and sit on hold for a full entire HOUR. Run out of minutes on Hubby's cell phone. Get out my cell phone and call mama! Mama calls United and they tell her the plane is delayed so we still have hope of catching it.
18:00-Arrive at airport and watch our plane fly over our heads (can't know that for sure of course!). Go to United desk, stand in line behind others. German United worker to lady in front of us, "I must go". Lady, "You are just going to walk away from us?" United worker, "Yes, I am". What? Excuse me? Well, Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore...(but we really wish we were!). Apparantly, the desk closes at 6. On the dot. Redonkulous.
Ok, kids, I gotta stop. I'm giving myself a friggin' headache reliving this trip. Stay tuned for part two!! And a happier ending :)
See Part Two here
But, for real yo. Check out our craaaazy 48 hour journey.
Friday:
9(am)-ish: Get on train with a.) baby b.) stroller + carseat c.) 2 checked bags d.) 3 carry-ons
While on train, rearrange bags with Hubby. Try to find the "best" way to carry all that crap.
9:15-ish: We have appoximately 2 mins to change trains...with a baby and all our crap
10:30-ish (ok, I am going to quit writing "ish". Just know that I have no exact times!): Realize we are a carry-on short! Which carry-on? Why, the one with our diapers, our social security cards, our passports, our birth certificates, and our plane tickets. Oh yeah, we are awesome. And freaked out. And now very, very sick to our stomachs. Tell attendant who doesn't speak English. Tell attendant via pantomime. Attendant responds "Tell them in Nuremburg" and leaves us. Sad face.
12:30: Arrive in Nuremburg. Go to the office where you go when you are screwed. Guess what? Attendant doesn't speak English! Ok, to be fair, he spoke a little. Enough to realize we are totally freaking out and need HELP. Sit around entertaining poopy pants baby (diapers are in the lost bag, remember? And we are in a German train station so noooo diaper stores!) while Hubs and attendant try to fix our situation.
13:15-Attendant: "They did not find your bag". Begin to hyperventilate. (Not really).
13:17-Ring, Ring! Attendant" Oh wait, they did find your bag". Breathe again, just breathe. This is what we have to do: rent a car, get a German road map, find a rinky dink town we have never heard of with no GPS, go get our bag, drive directly to Frankfurt to attempt to catch our 6pm overnight flight. We go ask about a car. Does the train station have one available? Noooo. However, the airport does and all we have to do is catch the subway, take a 15-min ride, and voila! We can have a car. Go to ticket machine to buy tickets. Insert 20 Euros. Machine only takes 5 or 10 Euro bills. Go to McDonalds to break our large bill. Scarf down burger. Feed baby french fries. Buy tickets and get on Subway.
14:00-Get car.
15:00-Arrive at rinky dink town and drive around for a looong time trying to find the train station. Get bag. Feed baby real food and change poopy pants!
15:30-Give up on catching flight. Decide to drive to Frankfurt in the hopes of getting on a later flight. Call United and sit on hold for a full entire HOUR. Run out of minutes on Hubby's cell phone. Get out my cell phone and call mama! Mama calls United and they tell her the plane is delayed so we still have hope of catching it.
18:00-Arrive at airport and watch our plane fly over our heads (can't know that for sure of course!). Go to United desk, stand in line behind others. German United worker to lady in front of us, "I must go". Lady, "You are just going to walk away from us?" United worker, "Yes, I am". What? Excuse me? Well, Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore...(but we really wish we were!). Apparantly, the desk closes at 6. On the dot. Redonkulous.
Ok, kids, I gotta stop. I'm giving myself a friggin' headache reliving this trip. Stay tuned for part two!! And a happier ending :)
See Part Two here
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